New challenges coming soon?

[magster65]

After reading the Walmart thread I got thinking. I've been in a union position with our local waterworks as a lead-hand for 10 years now. I'm very fortunate to have an intelligent, productive and motivated crew that makes my job easier now than ever before. The problem is that I'm having trouble getting back on track at work since last year when I faced a nasty break-up. I became a single dad at that point. <br />My collegues are my friends for the most part but I am one of the younger people that work there. Over the next year and a bit there will be 8 of the 10 people that work closely with me retire... including our department manager. That's a big change for a place where nothing much changes if you know what I mean. My fear is that... I know my focus isn't what it used to be, I occasionally come in late, miss time, have to leave early... etc. (kid stuff is time consuming!) so my fear is that the new management/staff won't see me as an asset any longer. I'm scheduled to work an average of 45 hours a week plus I carry a pager at times. That's a busy job plus the task of tending to a VERY energetic 2 year old is wearing me down some. I sleep during my lunch sometimes these days. <br />My son, his safety, happiness and future are my priority and that's the way it has to be. I haven't really talked to anyone about this... I figure it's easier to 'bounce something off' strangers sometimes. Any experiences or words of advice would be appreciated.

 

[Skinnywater]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

My son, his safety, happiness and future are my priority and that's the way it has to be.

magster,<br />As you read in the Walmart thread I was able to get my professional life dialed. All in all the focus, drive and long hours wasn't hard for me.<br />I excelled as an employee and was a good provider for my family........monitarily anyhow.<br /><br />Here's where the accusations of my self-rightiousness are thrown out with the bath water. <br />Rarely was I involved with my daughters. From home work to school activities. I'd be self absorbed in the work day. Yeah, I'd be physically present, mainly to discipline and generally to be critical of them in one way or another.<br />Mostly my presence was "old school." I brought home the bacon, the wife raised the kids and took care of the house.<br />Somehow it worked, mainly because my wife was the perfect mother and wife and she honestly enjoyed it.<br />The biggest problem is it short-changed my daughters. They didn't get to learn any the depth that I was capable of teaching. I think they're doing alright now but I know I've short-changed them. Somethings in their personal relationships, somethings in their lives are more difficult because they didn't get the whole of me.<br />The guilt I've felt in later years hasn't been easy for me. But I accept it as payment for the mistake I've made.<br />In these recent years since they've grown, I've let them know about how I feel letting them down.<br />We've moved on and have fun together these days. We're closer now than ever. But it doesn't change the facts or turn back the clock.<br /><br />I'm sure there was a way to build what was built from nothing and still be an involved parent. I just never learned it.<br />Or maybe again it would've been better to earn a little less money and be more to my children.<br />Yes, I think I should have done that.

 

[OBJ]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

I would think that after 10 years as a lead man you would have enough knowledge planted in your head to make you an asset to the organization no matter what your personal life is like. Confront the new head staff of the department and state your challenges. If they are human, they will understand.

 

[magster65]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

Skinnywater<br />Thanks for the insight. My thought was to keep my son as #1, work comes after everything is a.o.k. with him. That's the way it's going to stay.<br />OBJ<br />Yes it's true, I still do most of our diagnostics and commissioning... I could draw a map from memory where every water main is on the peninsula where I work, not to mention all the 'other stuff'. I will definately talk to the new management right away and I think you're right, they'll understand. My kid will be a little older, he'll probably be easier to get ready, feed... etc. by then (I hope!).<br /><br />Maybe I'm over-analyzing the situation a little, some of these fella's getting near retirement aren't doing a lot these days .?

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

Magster, I know where you are coming from. I would do exactly the same as you, familiy is first, PERIOD.<br /><br />But, my only words are that, since your family life has become priority, you can expect management may hesistate to promote you if it ever comes up. If you can deal with that, you will be fine.<br /><br /><br />Ken

 

[magster65]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

Good point.<br />I can live with that.

 

[aspeck]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

Good advice so far Magster. Keep the little guy a priority, after all, why are you working in the first place, but to support him, right? If your support of him takes you away from the emotional support he needs, then you ain't doing your most important job. Kids can get by on a lot less THINGS than adults think they need - as long as they have love and emotional support.<br /><br />So, keep your priorities, and enjoy the little Magster - he will only be little for a while!

 

[Twidget]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

THe kids have to come first, IMHO. <br /><br />I can give a really good example. My wife has a great uncle that ran a business. He and his wife put all their effort into the business. When he sold it, he got $6 mil or so. Their son is about worthless. He was ignored so much, with money thrown at him for entertainment, he has no motivation to do for himself. To make a long story short, they lost everything and now the kid (almost 40 now) lives at home and has a part time job as a 'game advisor' at a video store.<br /><br />Definitely put your son first. He will be a much better person for it.

 

[roscoe]

Re: New challenges coming soon?

If you can, get help to do the tasks that take time. It will make time for you to spend with your son, and free up enough time so that you can get some sleep.<br /><br />My sister was hired to to help a woman, she does household chores such as laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning, errand running, meal prep, etc.<br /><br />My sister is organized and gets everything done in 3-4 hours Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.<br /><br />Where do you find someone to do this?<br />Contact churches, colleges, maybe the social services has a list of people to recommend.