SoulWinner
Commander
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2002
- Messages
- 2,423
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. <br /><br />2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often. <br /><br />3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. <br /><br />4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. <br /><br />5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. <br /><br />6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. <br /><br />7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. <br /><br />8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. <br /><br />9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. <br /><br />10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. <br /><br />11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. <br /><br />12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. <br /><br />13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. <br /><br />14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. <br /><br />15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.<br /><br />16. A balanced diet is a large cookie in each hand. <br /><br />17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. <br /><br />18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. <br /><br />19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. <br /><br />20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. <br /><br />21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. <br /><br />22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. <br /><br />23. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. <br /><br />24. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. <br /><br />and #25? <br /><br />25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
