SlowlySinking
Master Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2002
- Messages
- 897
By now, I'm sure that you have heard enough Redneck jokes for a life time. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins. 
<br /><br />YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:<br /> <br />1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."<br />2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!<br />3. You don't have any problems ronouncing "Worcestershire <br />sauce" correctly.<br />4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.<br />5. You don't know what a Moon Pie is.<br />6. You've never had an RC Cola.<br />7. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.<br />8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.<br />9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.<br />10. You have no idea what a polecat is.<br />11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.<br />12. You don't have bangs.<br />13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.<br />14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.<br />15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.<br />16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.<br />17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.<br />18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.<br />19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.<br />20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to mention duct tape!)<br />21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an onramp to the highway.<br />22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.<br />23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.<br />24. You call binoculars opera glasses.<br />25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.<br />26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.<br />27. You don't know what appliqué is.<br />28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary <br />Alice).<br />29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.<br />30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.<br />31. You can do your laundry without quarters.<br />32. None of your fur coats are homemade.<br />
<br /><br />YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:<br /> <br />1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."<br />2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!<br />3. You don't have any problems ronouncing "Worcestershire <br />sauce" correctly.<br />4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.<br />5. You don't know what a Moon Pie is.<br />6. You've never had an RC Cola.<br />7. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.<br />8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.<br />9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.<br />10. You have no idea what a polecat is.<br />11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.<br />12. You don't have bangs.<br />13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.<br />14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.<br />15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.<br />16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.<br />17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.<br />18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.<br />19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.<br />20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to mention duct tape!)<br />21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an onramp to the highway.<br />22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.<br />23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.<br />24. You call binoculars opera glasses.<br />25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.<br />26. You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.<br />27. You don't know what appliqué is.<br />28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary <br />Alice).<br />29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.<br />30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.<br />31. You can do your laundry without quarters.<br />32. None of your fur coats are homemade.<br /> 
