Andrew Leigh
Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2003
- Messages
- 431
Mole Breakfast <br />There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.<br /> <br />The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm,I smell sausage."<br /> <br />The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes."<br /> <br />The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.<br /> <br />"The only thing I can smell is molasses" said baby mole.<br /><br />Employee Appraisals <br /><br />1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.<br /> <br />2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.<br /> <br />3. I would not allow this man to breed.<br /> <br />4. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.<br /> <br />5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.<br /> <br />6. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.<br /> <br />7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.<br /> <br />8. This man has delusions of adequacy.<br /> <br />9. He sets low personal standards and the consistently fails to achieve them.<br /> <br />10. This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.<br /> <br />11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<br /> <br />12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.<br /> <br />13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.<br /> <br />14. A room temperature I.Q.<br /> <br />15. Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it together.<br /> <br />16. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.<br /> <br />17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.<br /> <br />18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.<br /> <br />19. Bright as Alaska in December.<br /> <br />20. One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.<br /> <br />21. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.<br /> <br />22. Fell out of his family tree.<br /> <br />23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains isn't coming.<br /> <br />24. He's so dense,light bends around him.<br /> <br />25. If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.<br /> <br />26. Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.<br /> <br />27. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.<br /> <br />28. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.<br /> <br />29. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.<br /> <br />30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.<br /> <br />Cheers<br />Andrew