- Joined
- May 29, 2003
- Messages
- 18,701
Several of these I have read and seen before, but some are new. Hope you enjoy!<br /><br />Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:<br /><br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the Congregation.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<br />------------------------------------------------------- ---------<br />Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. <br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility .<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.<br />--------------------------------------------------------<br />The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<br />-------------------------------------------------------<br />Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------<br />The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours ."
