KaGee
Admiral
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2004
- Messages
- 7,069
>A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well <br />>groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a <br />>good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an <br />>upscale cocktail lounge. <br />>Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). <br />>The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drin, takes a <br />>sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?" <br />> <br />><><><><><><><> <br />> <br />>An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He <br />>went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of <br />>hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. <br />>The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor <br />>said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you <br />>can hear again." <br />>The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around <br />>and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" <br />> <br />><><><><><><><> <br />> <br />>Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench <br />>under a tree when one turns to the other and says . . . "Slim, I'm 83 years <br />>old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. <br />>How do you feel?" <br />>Slim says, "I feel just like a newbor baby." <br />>"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" <br />>"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants. <br />> <br />><><><><><><><> <br />> <br />>Dinner <br />>An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, <br />>the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. <br />>The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a <br />>new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." <br />>The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" <br />>The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of <br />>that flower you give to someone you love? You know ... the one that's red <br />>and has thorns." <br />>"Do you mean a rose?" <br />>"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen <br />>and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last <br />>night?" <br />> <br />><><><><><><><> <br />> <br />>Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being <br />>discharged However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly <br />>gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his <br />>feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. <br />>After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to <br />>the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. <br />>"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom <br />>changing out of her hospital gown." <br /><br /><br />Hope this week is a better one than last!
