SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Larger Nuts & Longer Days"
I was working in a scrap yard during summer
vacation at engineering university. I worked
repairing construction equipment.
One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer
that had some very large bolts holding it together.
One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free
it I started heating the nut with an oxyacetylene
torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest
apprentices I have ever known came along.
He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained
that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and
release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it.
"So things get larger when they get hot, do they?"
he asked.
"Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer
and shorter in winter."
There was a long pause, then his face cleared.
"You know, I always wondered about that,"
he said.
__________________________________________
"Chore Payments"
The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes
on Saturday morning and set about all the
chores he'd been putting off for weeks.
He'd cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge,
and was halfway through mowing the lawn
when a woman pulled up in the driveway and
yelled out her window, "Say, what do you get
for yard work?"
The fellow thought for a minute, then answered,
"The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."
I was working in a scrap yard during summer
vacation at engineering university. I worked
repairing construction equipment.
One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer
that had some very large bolts holding it together.
One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free
it I started heating the nut with an oxyacetylene
torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest
apprentices I have ever known came along.
He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained
that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and
release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it.
"So things get larger when they get hot, do they?"
he asked.
"Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer
and shorter in winter."
There was a long pause, then his face cleared.
"You know, I always wondered about that,"
he said.
__________________________________________
"Chore Payments"
The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes
on Saturday morning and set about all the
chores he'd been putting off for weeks.
He'd cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge,
and was halfway through mowing the lawn
when a woman pulled up in the driveway and
yelled out her window, "Say, what do you get
for yard work?"
The fellow thought for a minute, then answered,
"The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."
