I had a 4.5 single years ago and didn't do any maint. However, Merc uses a splined connector on it's shift rod to connect to the splined rod emanating from the lower unit. The shaft turns a shifting cam through 3 distinct positions for FNR. You have to have your shift lever set to the same gear that you select on the LU shaft for it to work properly. Some like F and F so you can use the prop to line up the drive shaft and powerhead, and others (like me) like N and N as I have remotes and N is more distinct for me to get everything aligned. However, in N you have to rotate the flywheel to get the engagement as the prop free wheels.
HTH,
Mark