The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" <br /><br />In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. <br /><br />My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. <br /><br />Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. <br /><br />A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." <br /><br />The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. <br /><br />First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." <br /><br />How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free. <br /><br />Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. <br /><br />If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. <br /><br />Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." <br /><br />A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
