heycods
Captain
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2005
- Messages
- 3,941
> <br />> Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become<br />> coated with grease <br />> your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.<br />> <br />> Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will<br />> roll to the least <br />> accessible corner.<br />> <br />> Law of probability: The probability of being<br />> watched is directly <br />> proportional to the stupidity of your act.<br />> <br />> Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong<br />> number, you never get a <br />> busy signal.<br />> <br />> Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were<br />> late for work because <br />> you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will<br />> have a flat tire.<br />> <br />> Variation Law: If you change lanes (traffic<br />> lanes), the one you were <br />> in will start to move faster than the one you are in<br />> now (works every <br />> time).<br />> <br />> Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in<br />> water, the telephone <br />> rings.<br />> <br />> Law of Close Encounters: The probability of<br />> meeting someone you know <br />> increases when you are with someone you don't want<br />> to be seen with.<br />> <br />> Law of the Result: When you try to prove to<br />> someone that a machine <br />> won't work, it will.<br />> <br />> Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is<br />> inversely <br />> proportional to the reach.<br />> <br />> Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats<br />> are furthest from <br />> the aisle arrive last.<br />> <br />> Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of<br />> hot coffee, your <br />> boss will ask you to do something; which will last<br />> until the coffee is <br />> cold.<br />> <br />> Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two<br />> people in a locker <br />> room, they will have adjacent lockers.<br />> <br />> Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an<br />> open-faced jelly <br />> sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering<br />> are directly correlated to <br />> the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.<br />> <br />> Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you<br />> are.<br />> <br />> Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if<br />> you don't know what <br />> you are talking about.<br />> <br />> Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.<br />> <br />> Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.<br />> <br />> Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that<br />> you really like, <br />> they will stop making it.<br />>
