SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands<br />become coated with grease your nose will<br />begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.<br /> <br />Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when<br />dropped, will roll to the least accessible<br />corner.<br /> <br />Law of Probability: The probability of being<br />watched is directly proportional to the<br />stupidity of your act.<br /> <br />Law of the Telephone: When you dial a<br />wrong number, you never get a busy signal.<br /> <br />Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you<br />were late for work because you had a flat<br />tire, the very next morning you will have a<br />flat tire.<br /> <br />Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic<br />lanes), the one you were in will start to move<br />faster than the one you are in now. (Works<br />every time!)<br /> <br />Bath Theorem: When the body is fully<br />immersed in water, the telephone rings.<br /> <br />Law of Close Encounters: The probability<br />of meeting someone you know increases<br />when you are with someone you don't want<br />to be seen with.<br /> <br />Law of the Result: When you try to prove to<br />someone that a machine won't work, it will.<br /><br />Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch<br />is inversely proportional to the reach.<br /> <br />Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose<br />seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.<br /> <br />Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to<br />a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you<br />to do something which will last until the<br />coffee is cold.<br /> <br />Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only<br />two people in a locker room, they will have<br />adjacent lockers.<br /> <br />Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances<br />of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing<br />face down on a floor covering are directly<br />correlated to the newness and cost of the<br />carpet/rug.<br /> <br />Law of Location: No matter where you go,<br />there you are.<br /> <br />Law of Logical Argument: Anything is<br />possible if you don't know what you are<br />talking about.<br /> <br />Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.<br /> <br />Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no<br />feet.<br /> <br />Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a<br />product that you really like, they will<br />stop making it.<br /> <br />Law of Reality: Murphy was an optimist.