62_Kiwi
Lieutenant Junior Grade
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2002
- Messages
- 1,159
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?<br /><br />Female customer: A white one...<br /><br /> ----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?<br /><br />Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.<br /><br />Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."<br /><br />Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's<br /><br />still on my desk... sorry.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the<br /><br />screen.<br /><br />Customer: Your left or my left?<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?<br /><br />Male customer: Hello... I can't print.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...<br /><br />Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not<br /><br />Bill Gates damn it!<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it<br /><br />says 'Can't find printer'.<br /><br />I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,<br /><br />but the computer still says he can't find it...<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Customer: I have problems printing in red...<br /><br />Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?<br /><br />Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?<br /><br />Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the<br /><br />supermarket.<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: And now hit F8.<br /><br />Customer: It's not working.<br /><br />Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?<br /><br />Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's<br /><br />happening...<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?<br /><br />Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.<br /><br />Customer: OK<br /><br />Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?<br /><br />Customer: Yes<br /><br />Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there<br /><br />another keyboard?<br /><br />Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital<br /><br />letter V as in Victor, the number 7.<br /><br />Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />A customer couldn't get on the internet.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?<br /><br />Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.<br /><br />Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?<br /><br />Customer: Five stars.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?<br /><br />Customer: Netscape.<br /><br />Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.<br /><br />Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on<br /><br />my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?<br /><br />Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.<br /><br />Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?<br /><br />Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?<br /><br />Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more<br /><br />than 4 hours ago.<br /><br />Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Helpdesk: How may I help you?<br /><br />Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.<br /><br />Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?><br /><br />Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I<br /><br />get the circle around it? <br /><br /> 
