is it me or did I find another scam

[miloman]

maybe its me but this is a bit morbid my father in law is dying with cancer and I am applaed with 1. the prices of funeral services 2 the lack of remorse, just pay, pick your casket and go so what exp have you all had out there I need some direction as these decisions are being made in the afternoon Friday

 

[Jack Shellac]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

My wife and I had the same experiences arranging the funerals for our parents. We eventually decided that we would both be cremated, in no small part because of this. The best you can do is to shop around and try to get the most reasonable price you can. It's a traumatic time and somebody has to be businesslike. The funeral people count on everyone's emotions to sell them stuff they don't need. My sympathy to you and your family.

 

[Capt. Bob]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

My dad remarried and his wife 20 years younger than him died of cancer before he did. He died about 10 years ago, also with cancer. (They were both smokers) He was also overwhelmed with the cost and the hoopla of it all when his wife died and left him with a minor daughter and a 2nd daughter with brain damage requiring 100% care. The cost of showing respect for his wife by having a costly funeral was a financial disaster for him.<br /><br /> His last wish for me, was to have him cremated and bury him next to her using a post hole digger. He wanted no funeral or service to take place. It was in a church cemetary and I had to restrain the preacher who tried to take over the burial. His family including my 6 children were there and it was done as he wished.<br /><br />My point is...choose what is right for your family and what you think he might want and to hell with everybody else. No need to go broke paying you last respects.

 

[SlowlySinking]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

Hi miloman, been there done that. Don't let them bully or embarass you into anything you don't agree with, remember, it's your money they want to spend. I also have opted for cremation.

 

[dmessy]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

Sorry to hear of your hard times Miloman. We all gotta go sometime and, yes, funerals are quite expensive. Seems I'm hearing alot of hype for prearraingment lately and I guess its a good thing. Most people just don't want to consider what will become of them when they die. My son knows what I want, cremation, and feed me to the fish at a place where I have enjoyed alot of serenity. Headstones, burial plots, memorials..those are for the living. If he's already gone, just try and do what he would have you to do.

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

thanks guys its 3 am and I just got the dreaded call that he has passed hopefully he has gone to a better place we as a family dont have the option of creamation so I am now faced with the task

 

[Capt. Bob]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

My condolences to you and your family. I hope you find the way to put him to rest that is acceptable to everyone.

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

thanks capt bob I appreciate it he was a fine man

 

[Scoop]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

Miloman, I am sorry to hear your father-in-law passed away. My condolences to you and your family.

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

thanks scoop I had a day from he*& wow what a business there people run

 

[snapperbait]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

Miloman, Sorry to hear of your loss..

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

thanks ssnapper bait it has been one heck of a day today with all the runnign around and to top it off got a huge winter storm on the way here

 

[mellowyellow]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

hey Milo, sorry for your family's loss. <br />you can never replace family! <br />we'll keep you all in our prayers.<br />regards,<br />Russ

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

thanks mellow he was a good guy as honest as they come. ever see the movie my big fat greek wedding. We he was greek and I swear that was my life. I will miss him. The wife is taking it really hard She is an only child on a side note Spinner bait nut I was real tempted to light one up today but I did resist

 

[John Carpenter]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

I have taken care of the arrangements for both of my parents in the last 5 years and I have to say that I did not experience any pressure from the funeral home to do anything. I expected it but did not get it. As a matter of fact the first thing they said was "You don't HAVE to buy a casket, or anything else". I thought some things were required by law that were not. It was actually not a bad experience. Both parents were cremated..Dad's ashes were scattered in our favorite cove & Mother's were buried in her plot. Her wishes were to have Scottish bagpipes playing Amazing Grace at the graveside while here friends toasted her life with Irish whisky. The folks from the funeral home were a little nervous about that, but her wishes were honored to the tune of two liters of Jameson's.

 

[miloman]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

It seems that everything is about honouring the man and I am glad for that thanks

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

miloman, sorry for your loss. And I know it's hard not to light up, but keep at it.<br />It has been a month now and we are doing good although it has been a strain.<br />As for me, when the time comes, like some others here, I am being cremated.<br />No use of having all this expense of headstones and the like.<br />Just do it and have it over with so they can get on with their lives.<br />Again, sorry to hear about your father-in-law.

 

[Scoop]

Re: is it me or did I find another scam

Miloman, there are a lot of funeral homes and directors out there. Unfortunately there usually is not time to go talk to them until your are under pressure. Some will push you for the most expensive stuff and some will deliver the package that you want within your budget.<br /><br />My family on my Mom's side cremates, while on my Dad's side it is burial. I will probably be the only one on my Mom's side that will be buried nearest the area and lake my wife and I love. We are archaeologists, but either way is fine.<br /><br />I know this situation makes it extra hard on you. I wish I could say something to make the pain and loss go away. I recently lost a Grandmother, Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle. We were a very close family. The thing that keeps coming into my head is that all of these people live on in our memories. My Great-Uncle was 82. He was on his way to work to try to make ends meet and never made it to his truck. My aunt found him on the garage floor. The funeral was a celebration of his life. It was the first funeral I had been to where there was yodeling. Not the cowboy yodeling that your see in the old westerns, but real Swiss Yodeling. My Great Uncle said five days before his death that he wanted to die a quick death. He got his wish.