Bassy
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2003
- Messages
- 1,795
I find myself in all of these. Any of you find yourself here?<br /><br />You Live in California when...<br />>1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.<br />>2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.<br />>3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.<br />>4. You know how to eat an artichoke.<br />>5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.<br />>6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it<br />>will<br />>take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.<br />><br />>You Live in New York City when...<br />>1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.<br />>2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State<br />>Building.<br />>3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus<br />>Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.<br />>4. You think Central Park is "nature,"<br />>5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language ma!<br />>kes you multi-lingual.<br />>6. You've worn out a car horn.<br />>7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.<br />><br />>You Live in Maine when...<br />>1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.<br />>2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.<br />>3. You have more than one recipe for moose.<br />>4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.(That's me)<br />>5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and<br />>construction.(Really?)<br />><br />>You Live in the Deep South when...<br />>1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.<br />>2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.<br />>3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"<br />>4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.<br />>5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,<br />>MARY BETH, etc.<br />><br />>You live in Colorado when...<br />>1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.<br />>2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at<br />>the day care center.<br />>3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.<br />>4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.<br />><br />>You live in the Midwest when...<br />>1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.<br />>2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.(Mountain life too)<br />>3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.<br />>4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"<br />>5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was<br />>different!"<br />><br />>You live in Florida when....<br />>1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.<br />2. All purchases include a coupon<br />>of some kind -- even houses and cars.<br />>3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.<br />>4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.<br />>5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.<br />><br />>You live in Arizona when<br />>1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.<br />>2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the<br />>steering wheel.<br />>3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the<br />>toilet bowl.<br />>4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.<br />>5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.<br />>6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture<br />>lingerie ads.<br />>7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.<br />>8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.<br />>9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING<br />>ME??!!<br />>10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face<br />>when<br />>you open your oven door.( Been there, done that)<br /> 
