How To Survive To The End Of A Horror Movie

mikeandronda

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
1,888
* When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. <br /><br />* Never read a book of demon-summoning verses aloud, even as a joke. <br /><br />* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. <br /><br />* As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. <br /><br />* If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET OUT! <br /><br />* If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around. <br /><br />* Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know that you're doing. <br /><br />* If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. <br /><br />* If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself instead - You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten. <br /><br />AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: <br /><br />* When trying to escape from a serial killer, never run UPstairs. :D :D :D
 

Jack Shellac

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 7, 2002
Messages
1,661
Re: How To Survive To The End Of A Horror Movie

Good ones. Also, 1. remember that you're going to have to kill the monster/maniac at least three times before he's really dead and maybe not then if a sequel is planned. 2. Never, never go monster hunting with a cop who's just about to retire. You're just begging for big trouble.
 

Kenneth Brown

Captain
Joined
Feb 3, 2003
Messages
3,481
Re: How To Survive To The End Of A Horror Movie

Always look in the back seat before gettimg into the car.<br /><br />If you think the monsters dead don't check, shoot it till you run out of bullets "just incase"
 

wilkin250r

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Messages
570
Re: How To Survive To The End Of A Horror Movie

If someone in your party is an ego-centric womanizer, it's best not to hang around with him, you KNOW he's going to get it. If YOU are the womanizer, just shoot yourself, it will probably be less painful.
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: How To Survive To The End Of A Horror Movie

no, No, NO Don't open that door!!!
 
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