How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Tinkerer

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Mar 15, 2003
Messages
760
Wife wakes up on Valentine's Day as husband leaves bed unusually early. Normally she's up first to cook their breakfast.<br /><br />She dozes for a while and is woken by sound and smell of bacon, eggs and toast cooking in kitchen.<br /><br />She thinks tender thoughts that he's going to the trouble of making her a top breakfast in bed for Valentine's Day.<br /><br />A while after the cooking sounds have stopped she wonders why her breakfast hasn't arrived, so she goes to the kitchen.<br /><br />Hubby is sitting at the table reading the paper and eating bacon and eggs on toast.<br /><br />"What are you doing?" she says.<br /><br />He replies: "Well, as it's Valentine's Day I thought I'd make my own breakfast for a change."
 

Bart Sr.

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 26, 2002
Messages
1,603
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

The words "cut off" will be used there without a doubt.
 

WillyBWright

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Dec 29, 2003
Messages
8,200
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

I guess I won't be the only one not getting any on VD? ;)
 

Tinkerer

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Mar 15, 2003
Messages
760
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Originally posted by WillyBWright:<br /> I guess I won't be the only one not getting any on VD? ;)
Any what? Bacon and eggs? Toast? Hot stuff?<br /><br />Or the other thing, that's usually guaranteed on your birthday, Father's Day, and Xmas Day? Except when it's not?<br /><br />A bit concerned about your VD reference. <br /><br />In WWI Australia foolishly had a decoration called the Volunteer Decoration which naturally was abbreviated to VD, just like the Military Cross = MC and the Victoria Cross = VC.<br /><br />Turned out that lots of blokes walking around with a VD decoration wasn't exactly a chick magnet. The medal disappeared pretty quickly.<br /><br />Don't know why. Doesn't sound like a combat wound.
 

NYMINUTE

Captain
Joined
Oct 6, 2003
Messages
3,298
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Somebody somewhere ain't gonna get none? :D :D
 

Tinkerer

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Mar 15, 2003
Messages
760
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Originally posted by NYMINUTE:<br /> Somebody somewhere ain't gonna get none? :D :D
Mate, that is a daily event.<br /><br />What we need to know is who, when, where, and why, so we can warn and help our brothers.<br /><br />And give them the lady medicine that works, courtesy of Australian researchers who were forced to focus on sex as too many other Australian researchers were already working on beer.<br /><br /><br />Spray-on sex boost for women developed<br />February 10, 2005 - 2:09PM<br /><br />Improved sexual satisfaction for women could be just a spray on the skin away, Australian clinical trials show.<br /><br />The testosterone spray, developed by Melbourne's Monash University, was shown to significantly improve younger women's sexual enjoyment and satisfaction.<br /><br />The spray was tested on 261 premenopausal women aged 35-45 across Australia who had a low libido and testosterone levels.<br /><br />Each woman kept a diary throughout the 16 week study, in which they were also given dummy doses, to record all sexual events along with the level of satisfaction.<br /><br />Initial results show that on average, women who used the spray recorded two more satisfactory sexual experiences a month than before taking the hormone.<br /><br />Principal investigator Susan Davis said all other previous research had focused on postmenopausal women, who were known to have low testosterone levels.<br /><br />"But many younger women also report having low sexual interest and enjoyment and traditionally this has been explained away as being caused by relationship issues, depression or other life circumstances," she said.<br /><br />Advertisement<br />Advertisement"But now we know for many women the underlying problem is biological."<br /><br />Professor Davis said traditionally sexual dysfunction issues were taken more seriously in men than women.<br /><br />"I think it's been more socially acceptable in the past for men to be able to complain of having low sexual function," she said.<br /><br />"I think a lot of women have been scared to say 'I have a problem' in case even their doctor thinks they're sort of promiscuous or there is something wrong with them."<br /><br />Kerran (who did not given her surname), 44, a working mother with three children said she had a noticeable improvement in her sex life and overall wellbeing since using the drug.<br /><br />"At first with the treatment nothing happened. I didn't feel any different ... and then after a couple of months I started to feel really good in all areas," she said.<br /><br />Low testosterone levels occur in about 30 per cent of women aged 20 to 40 and is a major factor in a lack of sexual drive.<br /><br />The study was part of the approval process for the United States Food and Drug Administration.<br /><br />The next step will a larger study over a longer period of time, with the product expected to be on the market within "several" years.<br /><br />Professor Davis said the only noticeable side effect had been a small increase in body hair.
 

KaGee

Admiral
Joined
Aug 14, 2004
Messages
7,069
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Do they have anything like that for men??<br /><br />Ah humm.... out of concern for a friend of mine of course...
4_13_6.gif
 

spratt

Lieutenant
Joined
Oct 13, 2004
Messages
1,461
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Originally posted by Bart Sr.:<br /> The words "cut off" will be used there without a doubt.
With Lena Bobbitt, those words took on whole new meaning...he wasn't just cut off, he was CUT OFF!!!!!
 

NYMINUTE

Captain
Joined
Oct 6, 2003
Messages
3,298
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Originally posted by FlatBottoms:<br />
Originally posted by Bart Sr.:<br /> The words "cut off" will be used there without a doubt.
With Lena Bobbitt, those words took on whole new meaning...he wasn't just cut off, he was CUT OFF!!!!!
OUCH... Even now that pain still seers through me. Rather have my eyes removed with needle nose pliers!
 

Tinkerer

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Mar 15, 2003
Messages
760
Re: How be a loser on Valentine's Day

Originally posted by KaGee:<br /> Do they have anything like that for men??<br /><br />Ah humm.... out of concern for a friend of mine of course...
4_13_6.gif
There's nasal sprays for men advertised here on radio, TV and in the press. They help with the mechanical aspects at the critical moment, not the desire. Why you'd squirt it up your nose is beyond me.
 
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