Kenneth Brown
Captain
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2003
- Messages
- 3,481
At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual, later discovered to <br />be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight, <br />while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide <br />rule, and a calculator.<br /> <br />At a morning press conference, Attorney General, John Ashcroft said he <br />believes the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is <br />being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.<br /> <br />"AI-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average <br />solutions by means and extremes...and sometimes go off on tangents, in <br />a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like x' and y' <br />and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they <br />belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval, with <br />coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used <br />to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle.'<br /> <br />When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had <br />wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have <br />given us more fingers and toes."
