Home remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.<br /><br />2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.<br /><br />3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.<br /><br />4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to<br />use a timer.<br /><br />5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze<br />button.<br /><br />6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.<br /><br /><br />7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.<br /><br />Sometimes, we just need to remember! what the rules of life really are:<br /><br /><br />You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.<br /><br />If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.<br /><br />If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.<br /><br />Remember:<br />Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.<br /><br />Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.<br /><br />If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.<br /><br />And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never knoww when you might need them to empty your bedpan
