Here we go again

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Carl blew it this time. Had a new court date set for his probation violations. He had been on house arrest which means he can't go anywhere without me. <br /><br />Last wednesday night he wanted to go into the woods behind my house. Told him to remain in hearing distance. If he can't hear me call him, and I don't get a response back, then it is time to call the sheriff. <br /><br />Well to make a long story short, he took off. He stole my tent and sleeping bags. I called the sheriff and reported him escaping from house arrest. This was around 7pm. At 9:30pm a father called me and asked where Carl was. He said his daughter was surpose to meet up with him. I told him that the law was looking for him at that time. Then the father told me his daughter was only 13! Yikes! :eek: :mad: <br /><br />Did some investigating (checked his history in the instant messenger) and found he had planned to run away for the last week. Wife and I figured out about where they were headed. Called his close friend and found out that he had given Carl a ride to do all this stuff. He confirmed about the exact location they went. By now it was 11:30pm. Sheriff said they wouldn't search the woods till morning. We called the people who owned the property that we felt he was at to get their exact address. They didn't want to give it to us because they knew about what Carl was doing. Shortly after we got their address, Carls friends mom found out that the girl he was with was only 13. So she called the sheriffs dept and reported tresspassers. <br /><br />So the county figured out that these were the kids that they were looking for. At 1 am they found them back in the woods about a half mile. Then at 2:45 the sheriffs dept called me to come pick him up. He was laughing and was all doped up and didn't care.<br /><br />Took him home, made him take his medication and sent him to bed. The next morning, his PO called and said he put a warrant out for him. They finally put him into Juvie/DH. Friday morning we had court.<br />1st charge: Possession of tobacco $150 fine+ cour costs<br />2nd charge: Tested positive for THC<br />3rd charge: Possession of drug paraphanailure (sp)<br />4th charge: Breaking house arrest<br />5th charge: Trespassing<br />6th charge: Broke curfew<br />7th charge: Not completeing court ordered school work<br />8th charge: Not taking court ordered medication<br />9th charge: Failure to keep counselors appointment<br />10th charge: Possession of alchol (bottle of wine)<br />11th charge: Failure to complete his community service on time.<br /><br />Needless to say he is not a happy boater. He got 60 days in Juvie. It is lucky the sheriffs dept got there before they could spend the night intimately. <br /><br />So hopefully he will learn from this, but I doubt it will. He just thinks he can do anything he wants to regardless who he hurts or the laws he breaks.<br /><br />Finally no more smacking his hands. I hate for it to happen as a father, but its not right what he was doing.<br /><br />Just thought I would give an update on his decline in progress :(
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
Re: Here we go again

Man SS, that is tuff, but ain't much you can do that you have not already done for him.<br /><br />All you can do now is be there for him when he comes back down.
 

18rabbit

Captain
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
3,202
Re: Here we go again

Mayfloat – you obviously got your hands full. You can’t help those except those that want to be helped. You’ve tolerated more than I think I ever could. My heart goes out to you. I hope someday Carl is able…no, willing to recognize the sacrifices you made for him.
 

jsfinn

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Nov 26, 2003
Messages
1,093
Re: Here we go again

Mayfloat,<br /><br />Someday, he'll thank you. You're a good guy.<br /><br />Hang in there, bud.
 

Whaler Proud

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Feb 23, 2003
Messages
187
Re: Here we go again

Hang in there Mayfloat. If you ever want to compare notes, shoot me an email.
 

SoulWinner

Commander
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
2,423
Re: Here we go again

Dear SS,<br /><br />Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometime He lets the storm rage and calms the sailor. Peace brother ;)
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: Here we go again

Thanks everyone, He made his choices, now he has to deal with them.<br /><br />It has been real quiet here. The worry of fighting, where's he at, what's he doing, who's he with stuff is gone. Wierd :confused: <br /><br />Wife and I decided to clear out his room, repaint, get differnt furniture, and just make it a spare bedroom. We will explain to him since he only has about three and half months left before he is 18, that it this is now the guest bedroom. This is where you will stay until you are legally of age to leave. He no longer will smoke in our house nor shall we buy him cigaretts. We don't want the judge to fine us for buying them, we were warned. He will not have computer priveledges at this house.<br /><br />My heart feels like this is a wrong plan to follow, but my morals say it is the right thing to do.
 

BrianFD

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Messages
748
Re: Here we go again

You are doing the RIGHT thing, SS!<br />You've done everything imaginable to help him, now it's up to him. Releasing him, though very hard, is the best thing for him. He'll have his eyes opened for him out in the real world.<br />We're praying for you!<br />Brian
 

jim phillips

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
May 11, 2003
Messages
504
Re: Here we go again

SS<br /><br />There is nothing that you can say or do that you have not already said and done.<br />For the last 20 years I have worked with troubled kids, mentally ill, drug addicts and now convicts. And if I have learned any thing it is that you can only do so much. If someone is not willing to meet you part way then there is not much you can do. The time has come for him to learn for himself. <br />I know it will be hard but you need to let him go...for his own sake and your own sanity.<br />I would suggest giving him $20.00 for food for the first day or two that he is on his own, tell him that Sunday dinner is at 2 or 3 (whenever it is) and he is welcome that one afternoon a week to visit if he is clean and straight until 6pm or so then it is time to leave.<br />Don't do his wash, don't give him money, feed him, talk to him and throw him back out at the time you have set for the visit to end.<br /><br />good luck and stand your ground<br /> Jim
 

Toad2001

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
403
Re: Here we go again

SS,<br /><br />I am very sorry to read about your situation, and hope your son's condition improves.<br /><br />I recall glancing previous posts but can't recall all the specifics. Has he been tested for possible schizophrenia/has it been ruled out? He is at the exact age when symptoms usually surface (if it doesn't occur at 17-18 it usually happens mid to late 40's), and his irrational symptoms could be the start of it.<br /><br />The sooner it is treated the better, and it is well controlled with medication these days. Its also not the stereotyped disease most people think it is.<br /><br />Just a thought.<br /><br />Best of luck to you.
 

JoeW

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Nov 8, 2003
Messages
664
Re: Here we go again

Lucky Jim has the plan that I would use. When you do talk to him on Sundays, ask him about his life and how he is doing. If he comes back with complaints or worries, ask him how he's going to handle them. If he asks for money or to move back in, tell him that that time is over. It didn't work when you lived at home, it's not going to work now.<br /><br />Good luck Mayfloat. I'm sure this is not an easy thing to have to handle.
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: Here we go again

I took in some of his school lessons for this week to his PO. It appears Carl hasn't even attempted to do his first weeks work. <br /><br />This is his second week of being in Juvie. He still doesn't want me to vist nor do I want to visit him. His bio-mom has. I think the court will make him go live with her. After having these past 10 days or so without him, it is peacful without much to worry about. Even Keeper our dog seems to be at ease now without Carl being here.<br /><br />His PO said he hasn't been in trouble much except once. Of course, they are making sure he takes his meds. <br /><br />Thanks for asking.....
 

LubeDude

Admiral
Joined
Oct 8, 2003
Messages
6,945
Re: Here we go again

Originally posted by SS MAYFLOAT:<br /><br />Wife and I decided to clear out his room, repaint, get differnt furniture, and just make it a spare bedroom. We will explain to him since he only has about three and half months left before he is 18, that it this is now the guest bedroom. This is where you will stay until you are legally of age to leave. He no longer will smoke in our house nor shall we buy him cigaretts. We don't want the judge to fine us for buying them, we were warned. He will not have computer priveledges at this house.<br /><br />.
I feel for you, and my heart goes out to you. Things like this are never easy. He never got like this overnight though. but you are getting smarter all the time. Sure makes you wonder where all the anger is coming from?
 
Top