Heavenly Clocks

[Mr.Ladyfish]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.<br /><br />He asked, "What are all those clocks?"<br /><br />St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."<br /><br />"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"<br /><br />"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."<br /><br />"Incredible" said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"<br /><br />St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."<br /><br />"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man."<br /><br />"Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

 

[TwoBallScrewBall]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Mr. LF, I respectfully request permission to steal your sig line for my email.

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Originally posted by Mr.Ladyfish:<br /> <br />"Where's John Kerry's clock?" asked the man."<br /><br />"Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

And since it is a HUGE office, Bill Clintons is hanging right next to it<br /><br />I love it!!

 

[fixin]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

I guess Bush's would be used as the company helicopter!

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Who needs helocopters in Heaven;-) ?? Now, as the prop on the company yacht?

 

[fixin]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

WOW! that would be one fast Yacht

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Originally posted by fixin:<br /> WOW! that would be one fast Yacht

Yea, but I just heard that the government was going to commission Kerry's for the next new generation of subs.

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Surely they would have to be jet "hot air" subs...props would spin right off

 

[FSHKPR]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

OH Boy!

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Originally posted by spratt:<br /> Surely they would have to be jet "hot air" subs...props would spin right off

Yes spratt, the new "Jet Drives"

 

[fixin]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

ROTFLM*O<br /><br />This is the greatest

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Originally posted by spratt:<br /> ROTFLM*O<br /><br />This is the greatest

Yea, Ol Kerry can't hold a light to Monica.

 

[Mr.Ladyfish]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Mr. LF, I respectfully request permission to steal your sig line for my email.

Go right ahead....Albert Einstein is the originator.

 

[hayhauler]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

That was told on Clinton a few years back. Pick anybody you don't like, and it fits, or at least the joke seems funny to you. If I need stability and timeliness, I'd pick Bush's clock every time; fully aware that that's my opinion, I'm sticking to it.

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

I think it was originally a Clinton joke, which is what made it so hilarious, at least to ME Putting Kerry in it only intensifies it's pleasure to me;-)<br /><br />But then, as you say, it could fit anyone, even myself if one wnated to do so...guess taht is why jokes are so fun...I gotta look up some new ones tho---it ain't in me to create 'em!!!

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.<br /><br />He asked, "What are all those clocks?"<br /><br />St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."<br /><br />"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"<br /><br />"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."<br /><br />"Incredible" said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"<br /><br />St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."<br /><br />"Where's spratt's clock?" asked the man."<br /><br />"spratt's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

 

[KaGee]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

A case of someone having too much "time" on their hands??<br /><br />

 

[Mrs Soulwinner]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Oh my God Mr.Ladyfish, that was good!! I think I hurt myself laughing so hard! <br /><br />That was funny, I don't care who ya are.....

 

[spratt]

Re: Heavenly Clocks

Now, SBN, I dont ratly know whether to be hurt or proud!! Ya see, you done put me in the same category as them other folks...only, well, mah mother taught me to NEVER lie...and I don't thank I evah have...