Re: HAPPY Australia Day!
We celebrated on Sat evening as we had a full days work on the Tuesday.
Had 14 for dinner....and along with the shrimps and salads, I put some Ram chops on the BBQ.
It was a pretty good night around....very hot tho.
So thanks everybody, and yes we did have fun.
Cheers
Phillip
PS
Here is something that has been round since the republican movement tried to get us to ditch the Monarchist system, and felt they should write about what it is to be Australian.
Then along came some clown who felt it needed ammending, and below is his final draft.
Funny, but it has proved more popular than the original.
WE ARE AUSTRALIANS! ('Nuff said!)
We, the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wa-nker.
We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand)
And although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to *****
And moan about it whenever we blxxdy like.
We are One Nation but we're divided into many States:
First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians.
Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand-final day and big horse races.
Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that 'it's liveable'..
At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too blxxdy cold and wet.
Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar,
Thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens.
Its capital, Sydney, has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.
Down south we have Tasmania, a state based on the notion that the family that bo-nks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces.
South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. S.A. is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively re-use country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown.
Just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen).
They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of the track caused the Formula
One drivers to sleep at the wheel.
Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. Its main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. W.A. was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the Government and business.
The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, sheep stations the size of Europe, Kangaroos, Jackaroos, Emus, Uluru and dusty kids with big broad smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet, and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too.
Although the Territory is the centre piece of our national culture, few of us live there
And the rest prefer to fly over it on our way to Bali.
And there's Queensland ............While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half-arxed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland- it's beautiful one day and perfect the next. Why he filled it with ****-heads remains a mystery.
Oh yes, and there's Canberra. The least said the better.
We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our lust for international recognition. Not that we're whingeing; we leave that to our Pommie immigrants.
We want to make 'no worries mate' our national phrase, 'she'll be right mate' our national attitude and 'Waltzing Matilda' our national anthem. (So what if it's about a sheep-duffer-stealing crim who commits suicide??)
We love sport so much our news readers can read the death toll from a sailing race
and still tell us who's winning. And we're the best in the world at all the sports that count, Like cricket, netball, rugby, AFL, roo-shooting, two-up and horse racing.
We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies and the worst-dressed Olympians in the known universe.
We shoot, we route, (!!), we vote. We are girt by sea and pixxed by lunchtime.
Even though we might seem a racist, closed-minded, Sports-obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.
I am, you are, we are Australian.
