dolluper
Captain
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2004
- Messages
- 3,903
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY <br /> <br />My tire was thumping. <br />I thought it was flat <br />When I looked at the tire... <br />noticed your cat. <br />Sorry! <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Heard your wife left you, <br />How upset you must be. <br />But don't fret about it... <br />She moved in with me. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Looking back over the years <br />that we've been together, <br />I can't help but wonder... <br />"What the hell was I thinking?" <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Congratulations on your wedding day! <br />Too bad no one likes your husband. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />How could two people as beautiful as you <br />Have such an ugly baby? <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />I've always wanted to have <br />Someone to hold, <br />someone to love. <br />After having met you . <br />I've changed my mind. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. <br />I never believed in Hell until I met you. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... <br />That you're not here to ruin it for me. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Congratulations on your promotion. <br />Before you go... <br />Would you like to take this knife out of my back? <br />You'll probably need it again. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! <br />(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Happy birthday! You look great for your age. <br />Almost Lifelike! <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />When we were together, <br />you always said you'd die for me. <br />Now that we've broken up, <br />I think it's time you kept your promise. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />We have been friends for a very long time . <br />let's say we stop? <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />I'm so miserable without you <br />it's almost like you're here. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. <br />Did you ever find out who the father was? <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />Your friends and I wanted to do <br />something special for your birthday. <br />So we're having you put to sleep. <br />- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br />So your daughter's a hooker, <br />and it spoiled your day. <br />Look at the bright side, <br />it's really good pay.
