George Carlin's Views On Aging

NYMINUTE

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>><br />>> Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is<br />> when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about<br />> aging that you think in fractions.<br />>><br />>> "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a<br />> half; You're four and a half, going on five!<br />>><br />>> That's the key.<br />>><br />>> You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the<br />> next number, or even a few ahead.<br />>><br />>> "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13; but hey, you're<br />> gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . you become 21. Even<br />> the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!<br />>><br />>> But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like<br />> bad milk!: He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're<br />> Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?<br />> &g! t;<br />>> You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.<br />>><br />>> Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you<br />> REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.<br />>><br />>> But wait!!! You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would!<br />>><br />>> So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.<br />>><br />>> You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a<br />> day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!<br />>><br />>> You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;<br />> you REACH 4:30; you MAKE IT to bedtime.<br />>><br />>> And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was<br />> JUST 92!"<br />>><br />>> Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little<br />> kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"<br />>><br />>> May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!<br />>><br />>><br />>> HOW TO STAY YOUNG<br />>><br />>> 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. Th! is includes age, weight and height.<br />> Let the<br />>> doctors worry a bout them. That is why you pay " them " .<br />>><br />>> 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.<br />>><br />>> 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,<br />> whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."<br />> And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.<br />>><br />>> 4. Enjoy the simple things.<br />>><br />>> 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.<br />>><br />>> 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is<br />> with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.<br />>><br />>> 7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets,<br />> keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever; your home is your refuge.<br />>><br />>> 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,<br />> improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.<br />>><br />>> 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the ! next county,<br />> even to a foreign country; but NOT to where the guilt is.<br />>><br />>> 10. Tell the people you love that you love them -- at every opportunity.<br />>><br />>> AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:<br />>> Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments<br />> that take our breath away.<br />>><br />>> And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?<br />>> But do share this with someone.<br />>> We all need to live life to its fullest each day
 
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DJ

Guest
Re: George Carlin's Views On Aging

I listen to Carlin sometimes, he's always on Sirius.<br /><br />I have a cynical attitude, no doubt. However, If I was a cynical as him, I would have swallowed a gun barrel a long time ago.
 

Twidget

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Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
2,192
Re: George Carlin's Views On Aging

My favorite of his is the 2 minute warning skit.
 
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