SoulWinner
Commander
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2002
- Messages
- 2,423
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.<br /><br /> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.<br /><br /> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it.<br /><br /> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.<br /><br /> 5. No one is listening, until you fart.<br /><br /> 6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.<br /><br /> 7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.<br /><br /> 8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.<br /><br /> 9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.<br /><br />10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.<br /><br />11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.<br /><br />12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.<br /><br />13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.<br /><br />14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.<br /><br />15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.<br /><br />17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.<br /><br />18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.<br /><br />19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.<br /><br />20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.<br /><br />21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.<br /><br />22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.<br /><br />23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.<br /><br />24. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butts... then things get worse.<br /><br />25. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.<br /><br />26. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."<br /><br />27. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.<br /><br />28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday . . . right around age 11.<br /><br />29. Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
