Friday funny - don't fart in bed

gonefishie

Commander
Joined
Jul 28, 2004
Messages
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. <br />The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. <br />The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. <br />Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. <br />The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. <br />She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his ********** and emptied the bowl <br />of turkey guts into his shorts. <br />Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife <br />could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. <br />About twenty minutes later, her husband came <br />downstairs in his bloodstained ********** with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. <br />He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." <br />"What do you mean?" asked his <br />wife. <br />"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
 

rwise

Captain
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
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3,205
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

:D heard that one before just a little different, on a Gene Tracy party tape (8 track)
 

Twidget

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Jun 16, 2004
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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

ROFLMAO, I have never heard that one. :D :D
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Mar 25, 2001
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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Do you consider that suitable for a family oriented site? I don't think I do.
 

gonefishie

Commander
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Jul 28, 2004
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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

I didn't know the word under pants would be censor, pretty harmless to me
 

KeltonKrew

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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

harmless to me...no foul words and nothing sexually explicit......
 

Limited-Time

Vice Admiral
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Mar 30, 2005
Messages
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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Maybe a bit on the gross side, but by no means crude or off color. And ya gott'a admit it is funny. :D :D :D
 

glasply1

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jan 20, 2006
Messages
171
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

After reading the good and bad in the morning paper, it was like three beers to read this item. I'm sure it entertained many - maybe grossed out a few. Gracias.
 

harkawy

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jun 27, 2005
Messages
155
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Here is what I think.....
10_15_5.gif
 

87Aggie

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Mar 29, 2004
Messages
256
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

A similar post of mine got zapped awhile back.<br />"Do you consider that suitable for a family oriented site? I don't think I do."<br />You're on the brink I think!!
 

CN Spots

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
1,612
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

RF's avatar is more disturbing than that joke. :p <br /><br />spots
 

Haut Medoc

Supreme Mariner
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Jun 29, 2004
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Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Harkawy, YE 'OL Dutch Oven? ;) ....JK :D
 

heycods

Captain
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
3,941
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Originally posted by RubberFrog:<br /> I'm vomiting....
no way you could be sick after hearing that joke,He!! man look at your avatar.<br />
ATT00038.gif
 

Reel Poor

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jan 29, 2005
Messages
5,522
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

So me thinks marriage is suposed to stink :confused: <br /><br /> :D :D
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: Friday funny - don't fart in bed

Originally posted by JB:<br /> Do you consider that suitable for a family oriented site? I don't think I do.
Well I'll give you credit. At least you didn't zapped/Poof it yet! Not my cup of tea either! But still funny in it's own right! ;)
 
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