For the golfers

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Bart and Art have been a twosome on the links every day<br />since they've been retired. One day, as they're putting<br />on their golf shoes in the clubhouse, they get into a<br />conversation about heaven and whether there are any golf<br />courses there. They make a pact. The first one to die will<br />come back and tell the other one. Bart dies first, and sure<br />enough, comes back to visit Art.<br /> <br />Art says, "Well are there any golf courses in heaven?"<br /> <br />"I have good news and I have bad news," says Bart.<br /> <br />"We have the ultimate golf course in the sky and<br />tournament which starts tomorrow."<br /> <br />"So what's the bad news?"<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"You're my partner!"<br />_______________________________________________<br />"Golfer In Heaven"<br /> <br />A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down<br />the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler<br />and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but<br />he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a<br />tree and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in the<br />temple and killed him.<br /> <br />He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big<br />book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?"<br /> <br />"Yes, I am," he replied.<br /> <br />St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?"<br /> <br />The golfer replied, <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"You bet. After all, I got here in 2,<br />didn't I?"

 

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Re: For the golfers

 

[Bart Sr.]

Re: For the golfers

Jim and John met as junior executives with a major corporation and shared a love for golf.They played together weekly for several years until promotions and transfers separated them.Then 40 years later they found themselves in the same city again.Naturally they take to the links and as Jim is getting ready to tee off he tells John that his eyesight has gotten bad and asked if he could watch where the ball ends up.John says"No problem,My vision is still 20/20."So Jim sends a pretty good shot a little to the right and asks John"Did you see where it went?"John says"Yep watched it all the way."Jim asks"Where did it go?"<br />John says"I DON'T REMEMBER."

 

[Dave Abrahamson]

Re: For the golfers

A man takes the day off work and <br />decides to go out golfing. <br />He is on the second hole when he <br />notices a frog sitting next to <br />the green. <br />He thinks nothing of it and is <br />about to shoot when he <br />hears, Ribbit 9 Iron." <br /> <br />The man looks around and doesn't <br />see anyone. Again, he <br />hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks <br />at the frog and decides to <br />prove the frog wrong, puts the <br />club away, and grabs a 9 iron. <br /> <br />Boom! <br />He hits it 10 inches from the <br />cup. He is shocked. He says <br />to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. <br />You must be a lucky frog, eh? <br />The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog." <br />The man decides to take the frog <br />with him to the next hole. <br />"What do you think frog?" the <br />man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." <br />The guy takes out a 3 wood and, <br />Boom! Hole in one. The <br />man is befuddled and doesn't know <br />what to say. By the end <br />of the day, the man golfed the <br />best game of golf in his life and <br />asks the frog, "OK where to next?" <br />The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." <br />They go to Las Vegas <br />and the guy says, "OK frog, now <br />what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon <br />approaching the roulette table, The man <br />asks, "What do you think I should <br />bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit <br />$3000, black 6." <br />Now, this is a <br />million-to-one shot to win, but <br />after the golf game the man <br />figures what the heck. <br />Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. <br />The man takes his winnings and <br />buys the best room in the <br />hotel. He sits the frog down and <br />says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. <br />You've won me all this money and <br />I am forever grateful." <br />The frog replies, <br /><br />"Ribbit KissMe." <br />He figures why not, <br />since after all the frog did for <br />him, he deserves it. With a <br />kiss, the frog turns into a <br />gorgeous 17-year-old girl. "And that, <br />your honor, is how the girl <br />ended up in my room. So help me God<br /><br />

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: For the golfers