SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Tickets"<br /> <br />A couple with three children waited in line<br />at San Francisco's Pier 41to purchase<br />tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others<br />watched with varying degrees of sympathy<br />and irritation as the young children fidgeted,<br />whined, and punched one another.<br /> <br />The frazzled parents reprimanded them<br />to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket<br />window.<br /> <br />"Five tickets, please," the father said.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Two round trip, three one way." 
<br />____________________________________________<br />"Five Kids"<br /> <br />A friend of mine had five kids.<br /> <br />When the youngest finally turned 16,<br />and was the last one left at home,<br />my friend posted a sign on the kid's<br />bedroom door:<br /> <br />"Check-out time is 18." <br />____________________________________________<br />"The Mommy Test"<br /> <br />I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.<br />She picked up something off the ground and<br />started to put it in her mouth. I took the item<br />away from her and I asked her not to do that.<br /> <br />"Why?" my daughter asked.<br /> <br />"Because it's been laying outside, you don't<br />know where it's been, it's dirty and probably<br />has germs." I replied.<br /> <br />At this point, my daughter looked at me with<br />total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do<br />you know all this stuff?"<br /> <br />"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All Moms know<br />this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have<br />to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."<br /> <br />We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,<br />but she was evidently pondering this new<br />information.<br /> <br />"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't<br />pass the test, you have to be the Daddy."<br /> <br />"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my<br />face and joy in my heart.<br />
<br />____________________________________________<br />"Five Kids"<br /> <br />A friend of mine had five kids.<br /> <br />When the youngest finally turned 16,<br />and was the last one left at home,<br />my friend posted a sign on the kid's<br />bedroom door:<br /> <br />"Check-out time is 18." <br />____________________________________________<br />"The Mommy Test"<br /> <br />I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.<br />She picked up something off the ground and<br />started to put it in her mouth. I took the item<br />away from her and I asked her not to do that.<br /> <br />"Why?" my daughter asked.<br /> <br />"Because it's been laying outside, you don't<br />know where it's been, it's dirty and probably<br />has germs." I replied.<br /> <br />At this point, my daughter looked at me with<br />total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do<br />you know all this stuff?"<br /> <br />"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All Moms know<br />this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have<br />to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."<br /> <br />We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,<br />but she was evidently pondering this new<br />information.<br /> <br />"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't<br />pass the test, you have to be the Daddy."<br /> <br />"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my<br />face and joy in my heart.<br /> 
