Drinking Lessons

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

I know the time of year is coming up for more than a little drinking so I thought I would pass along a couple things on drinking.<br />________________________________________________<br />"Drinking Lesson"<br /> <br />A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade<br />class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced<br />an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of<br />whiskey, and two worms.<br /> <br />"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the<br />professor putting a worm first into the water.<br /> <br />The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm<br />in water could be.<br /> <br />The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed<br />painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as<br />a doornail.<br /> <br />"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?"<br />the professor asked.<br /> <br />Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded:<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"<br />_______________________________________________<br />"Drunk Driver"<br /> <br />A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving<br />violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks,<br />"Where have you been?"<br /> <br />"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk.<br /> <br />"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a<br />few."<br /> <br />"I did alright," the drunk says with a smile.<br /> <br />"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and<br />folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your<br />wife fell out of your car?"<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute<br />there, I thought I'd gone deaf!"

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: Drinking Lessons

Thats why Whiskey is better than apples

 

[spratt]

Re: Drinking Lessons

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.<br /><br />The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"<br /><br />The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preasher... I ssssure am."<br /><br />The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. <br /><br />"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.<br /><br />"Nooo, I ddddidnt!" said the drunk.<br /><br />The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"<br /><br />"Noooo, I dddid not Reverrrrend."<br /><br />The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone,<br /><br />"My God man, have you found Jesus yet?"<br /><br />The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sssssure thhhis is where he fffffelll in?"