Dog and Cat..

[CCrew]

As seen in a dog's diary: <br /><br />8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! <br />9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! <br />10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite! <br />11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! <br />Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! <br />1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite! <br />3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! <br />4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! <br />5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite! <br />7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite! <br />9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! <br /><br />As seen in a cat's diary: <br /><br />Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my <br />advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to <br />return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he <br />reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

 

[JGREGORY]

Re: Dog and Cat..

ROFLMAO I do believe you hit that one on the Nogin.

 

[oddjob]

Re: Dog and Cat..

 

[Carphunter]

Re: Dog and Cat..

lol at CCrew.

 

[KennyKenCan]

Re: Dog and Cat..

That is one of the funniest C & P's Iv'e read in a long, long time!!

 

[ChrisMcLaughlin]

Re: Dog and Cat..

Cats are rather arrogant, aren't they?

 

[WoodRust]

Re: Dog and Cat..

Cats Rule! Dogs Drule!<br /><br />Dogs pee/crap on carpet.<br />Dogs stick their nose in 'everything.<br />Dogs lick $$%#%%# and then lick your face.<br />Dogs bark and make your neighbours mad.<br />Dogs grovel for food everytime you eat.<br />Dogs demand they be walked outside in freezing %%%<br />Dogs fall off boats because they are too dumb to hang on.<br />Dogs 'get lost & can't find their way home' if their leash is too long.<br /><br />Cats pee/crap in their litterbox without training.<br />Cats *never* stick their nose anything.<br />Cats don't lick $$%#%%# and then lick your face.<br />Cats don't care what you eat & never beg for food.<br />Cats purr and be nice. Neighbours love them.<br />Cats never fall off boats because they are smart.<br />Cats *don't* need to walked in freezing %%%<br /><br />Cats are great.... the list goes on.

 

[snapperbait]

Re: Dog and Cat..

Huh? I must have weird cat, er something..<br /><br />He Loves to sleep in my bed..<br />Loves the yard.. <br />Makes crazy sounds that make the neighbors mad.. <br />Sticks his nose into everything.. Uh hummmm, yeah, there too.. <br />He grovels for food everytime I eat..<br />Follows me around like a puppy..<br />Oh, and he drules too...<br />

 

[aspeck]

Re: Dog and Cat..

Dogs are loving and faithful.<br /><br />Cats will figure out ways to hurt you!<br /><br />Had to take care of a neighbors cat while they went on vacation. Cat was kept in garage. That cat would know that I was coming and hid somewhere, like the rafters, or the top of a cabinet, and when I entered the garage with his food and water he would pounce, claws extended and teeth barred! After two weeks of this I had claw and bit marks up and down my arms and legs, and some on my face! I will never own, or take care of a cat again!<br /><br />Give me a dog!