Did you ever wonder??

aspeck

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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"<br /><br /> Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's rear"<br /><br /> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?<br /><br /> Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?<br /><br /> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?<br /><br /> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?<br /><br /> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut....why can't he fix a hole in a boat?<br /><br /> Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?<br /><br /> Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?<br /><br /> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!<br /><br /> What do you call male ballerinas?<br /><br /> Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?<br /><br /> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?<br /><br /> If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?<br /><br /> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?<br /><br /> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?<br /><br /> Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?<br /><br /> Does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?<br /><br /> Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?<br /><br /> Why did you try singing the two songs above?<br /><br /> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your --- ?<br /><br /> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?<br /><br /> Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

But did you know these little tid bits?<br /><br />In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either<br /> sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing<br /> behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and<br /> both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were<br /> to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are "<br /> limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the<br /> expression. "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."<br /><br /> As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year! (May<br /> and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads<br />( because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs<br /> made from wool. The wigs couldn't be washed, so to clean them they could<br /> carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30<br /> minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig."<br /> Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone<br /> appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.<br /><br /> In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair<br /> Commonly, a long wide board was folded down from the wall and used for dining.<br /> The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate<br /> sitting on the floor. Once in a while, a guest (who was almost always a man)<br /> would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal.<br /> To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. Sitting in the<br /> chair, one was called the "chair man." Today in business we use the<br /> expression or title "Chairman or Chairman of the Board,"<br /><br /> Needless to say, personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a<br /> result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The<br />women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions.<br /> When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another<br /> woman's face she was told "mind your own bee's wax." Should the woman smile,<br /> the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." Also, when they sat too<br /> close to the fire, the wax would melt and therefore the expression "losing face."<br /><br /> Ladies wore corsets which would lace up in the front. A tightly tied lace<br /> was worn by a proper and dignified lady as in "straight laced."<br /><br /> Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied<br /> when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "ace of Spades." To<br /> avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most<br /> games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb<br /> because they weren't "playing with a full deck."<br /><br /> Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was<br /> considered important to the people. Since there were no telephones, TV's or<br /> radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and<br /> bars who were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations<br /> and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times.<br /> " You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were<br /> eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we<br />have the term "gossip."<br /><br /> At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint-and quart-sized<br /> containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep<br /> the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was<br />drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding<br />your 'P' s and Q's,"<br /><br /> One more: bet you didn't know this!!!!<br /> In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried<br /> iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary<br /> to keep a good supply near the cannon, but how to prevent them from<br />rolling about the deck?<br /> The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball<br /> on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply<br /> of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.<br /> There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from<br />sliding or rolling from under the others.<br /> The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations.<br /> But, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.<br /> The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys."<br /> Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than<br /> iron when chilled.<br /> Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations<br /> would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.<br /> Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass<br /> monkey". (And all this time, you thought that was an improper expression,<br /> didn't you?)
 

JB

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

I did whistle both songs, Aspeck.<br /><br />One goes, "Twinkle twinkle little star. . . . "<br /><br />The other goes, "A, you're adorable, B, you're so beautiful, C, your. . . . ".<br /><br />They don't have the same tune.<br /><br />Some folks learned the alphabet by singing it to the tune of "Twinkle, twinkle", but it is not a song, and they can't say "l,m,n,o,p". They have to say "elemenohpee". :)
 

mellowyellow

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"<br />no, never wondered... I'm convinced of it :p
 

JoeW

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

SBN,<br />Actually, most, if not all of those are urban legends and not historical fact.
 

wilkin250r

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Feb 9, 2003
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Re: Did you ever wonder??

Personally, I've heard several different origins for the phrase "Freeze the balls off a brass monkey"
 

f_inscreenname

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Aug 23, 2001
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Re: Did you ever wonder??

A couple;<br />Why don't pray animals gang up and kick the crap out of the lion?<br />Why does a perfectly maintained boat brakes down more often then your neighbors very neglected boat?<br /> How come the old lady doing 50 mph drives in the fast lane? <br />How come it doesn't rain if you stay home on a cloudy day?
 

JB

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

How come my granddaughter wants one bra but a pair of jeans?
 

mattttt25

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

i really want to know the answer about blind people dreaming...
 

f_inscreenname

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

Oh and my favorite from an old Saturday Night Live episode. Andy Rooney saying “How come we cant show these boobies (super model’s chest blacked out) but we can show you these (old African tribe woman topless) on television?”
 

OBJ

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

Ever wonder "what people" have to much time on their ands??? :D :D
 

snapperbait

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

So do I Mattttt.... Especially wonder about someone who's been blind for all their life...
 

jinx

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

Ever wonder why people driving slower than you on the highway are idiots, and anyone who passes you is a raving maniac?<br /><br />Jinx
 

Bassy

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Re: Did you ever wonder??

Hmm. I like these kinds of things.<br />Bassy
 
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