Dear Tide

[LadyFish]

Dear Tide:<br /><br />I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I have used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.<br /><br />Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!<br /><br />In fact, about a month ago I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started to become a pain in the neck.<br /><br />One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out by using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.<br /><br />After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of Liquid Tide. With Bleach Alternative. To my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!<br /><br />In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives came by yesterday and told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative.<br /><br />Then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. It was quite a relief!<br /><br />I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty Bag people.<br /><br />Signed,<br />A Relieved Menopausal Wife

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Dear Tide

This goes hand in hand with the Man of the house thread, don't it?

 

[tylerin]

Re: Dear Tide

Lucky Bstard, escaped years of torment

 

[Stratosfied]

Re: Dear Tide

tylerin, Man you ain't right!

 

[Link]

Re: Dear Tide

Originally posted by tylerin:<br /> Lucky Bstard, escaped years of torment

ROFLOL

 

[snapperbait]

Re: Dear Tide

Yep.. That Tide's great stuff....

 

[OBJ]

Re: Dear Tide

Great commercial LF....but I dunt think it'll make the TV. Menopausal Wives seldom do.

 

[crab bait]

Re: Dear Tide

while your at it,, fire a e-mail to BOUNTY.. the quicker picker upper..<br /><br />the problem with marriage is,, after a while ya gotta close both eyes to sleep..

 

[bubbakat]

Re: Dear Tide

Yep!! That confirms it LadyFish is defiantly a trouble maker. <br />There is no way I am going to let the wife see this post.

 

[GodsBeast]

Re: Dear Tide

HA HA Chuckling my Rear off on that one, very inventive Lady fish. <br /><br />Loved Tylerin comeback also,,,,

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Dear Tide

Here's another version.<br /><br />Dear Tide:<br /><br />I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I have used it since the beginning of my political life, when my Mom told me it was the best.<br /><br />Now that I am older and getting to vote, I find it even better!<br /><br />In fact, about a year ago my country helped to liberate an oppressed nation and everything didn't go perfectly. My unfeeling and uncaring liberal neighbor, Michael Moore, started to berate me about how clumsy we were and generally started to become a pain in the neck.<br /><br />One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out by using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.<br /><br />After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of Liquid Tide. With Bleach Alternative. To my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!<br /><br />In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives came by yesterday and told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative.<br /><br />Then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my Micheal Moore. It was quite a relief!<br /><br />I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty Bag people their extra, super-duper jumbo size bags are really something.<br /><br />Signed,<br />A Relieved Conservative Wife

 

[eurolarva]

Re: Dear Tide

I figured the blood came from the split shot in the mouth mentioned by Mr Ladyfish on an earlier post. I guess Mr Ladyfish wont be posting much in the future.

 

[crab bait]

Re: Dear Tide

mr LF.. nod ,wink, type, do sumthin'..!! show us a sign..!! somehow,, just so us a sign..

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Dear Tide

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves <br /><br />assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. <br /><br /><br />Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, <br /><br />the two aretired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk <br /><br />and she in the lower. <br /><br /><br />At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, <br /><br />"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to rea! ch into the <br /><br />closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." <br /><br /><br />"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's <br /><br />pretend that we're married." <br /><br /><br />"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. <br /><br /><br />"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!" <br /><br /><br />After a moment of silence, <br /><br /><br />he farted.

 

[Carphunter]

Re: Dear Tide

Man SBN, I just read this one, and dang that was funny. I ain't laughed that hard at anything here for a while. <br /><br />Too funny.