stan_deezy
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2003
- Messages
- 1,539
We got a "shout" one afternoon to a local beach: a report of a swimmer in difficulties. Turns out this young lad had come down from the City and decided to do a spot of "target swimming". He'd seen a large pole sticking out the water quite far out from the beach. Problem was that once he'd reached it he was completely whacked out and didn't have the strength to swim back. He did the sensible thing and stood on the concrete casing that the pole was marking.<br /><br />Why does it qualify as a SHt? (apart from the obvious danger of target swimming):<br /><br />1. The pole marked the end of the main sewage outlet in that area.<br /><br />2. A small boat with two young ladies aboard had gone to investigate him waving his arms at them: when they got closer they discovered he'd taken off his swimming trunks to wave as a flag 
Scared that he was some sort of pervert they turned away <br />(when we got him in the boat we reckoned they had "very little" to worry about: maybe it was the cold water <br /><br /><br />The senior officers in the Coastguard decided that as well as Landrovers we needed a "Mobile Command Centre". Great idea. Fully equipped with a whole raft of kit including a cooker! We had it a week at the station and got a radio call from one of the team who had taken it out for drive. The radio conversation went like this:<br /><br />"Control, this is mobile: can I have the High Water time for Ardrossan beach?"<br /><br />"Mobile; High Water is in two hours. What is your present location?"<br /><br />"Control, I'm at Ardrossan beach. Is there a Landrover nearby?"<br /><br />"Mobile, negative. Why?"<br /><br />"Control, this is Mobile, my position is the water's edge, Ardrossan beach"<br /><br />We fell about laughing......why?<br /><br />After years of driving the Landrovers with four wheel drive this guy had assumed that the brand new Mobile Command Centre would have four wheel drive: it didn't <br /><br />By the time we got the Landrover to him he was standing several hundred yards up the beach watching the water lap around the cooker in the back of the Command Centre
Scared that he was some sort of pervert they turned away <br />(when we got him in the boat we reckoned they had "very little" to worry about: maybe it was the cold water <br /><br /><br />The senior officers in the Coastguard decided that as well as Landrovers we needed a "Mobile Command Centre". Great idea. Fully equipped with a whole raft of kit including a cooker! We had it a week at the station and got a radio call from one of the team who had taken it out for drive. The radio conversation went like this:<br /><br />"Control, this is mobile: can I have the High Water time for Ardrossan beach?"<br /><br />"Mobile; High Water is in two hours. What is your present location?"<br /><br />"Control, I'm at Ardrossan beach. Is there a Landrover nearby?"<br /><br />"Mobile, negative. Why?"<br /><br />"Control, this is Mobile, my position is the water's edge, Ardrossan beach"<br /><br />We fell about laughing......why?<br /><br />After years of driving the Landrovers with four wheel drive this guy had assumed that the brand new Mobile Command Centre would have four wheel drive: it didn't <br /><br />By the time we got the Landrover to him he was standing several hundred yards up the beach watching the water lap around the cooker in the back of the Command Centre 