Choosing an Executor of my Will?

[JoLin]

Trying to get my act together. Though I know my will won't be complicated, I want to put the legalities in place so my family don't have to deal with it.

I'd be interested in knowing how any of you chose an executor. It seems like a thankless and time consuming task, and I'm reluctant to ask anyone I know to take on the burden. I'd hate to have anyone taks it on simply because they felt guilty saying no.

 

[southkogs]

For myself - and my will is in NO WAY complicated - trust was the biggest factor. I wanted to know the person who I chose could handle the details, and would do what I asked. I also asked before naming them.

Check you state laws though, an executor can (IMHO "should") be compensated for their work. It varies on how it works by state, but there is a compensation for the work.

 

[harringtondav]

My wife and I named each other, then my brother. Now that our two kids are adults, we will likely rewrite to have them replace my brother as co-executors. Naming a beneficiary has the risk of discord, but as ^^, a well written, and equitable will sails through probate, or whatever process in your state. A beneficiary executor generally works cheap, since they are paying themselves.

Most people have an attorney to file the required documents, and will guide the executor. My brother and I co-executed my parent's wills. The biggest hassle was keeping the attorney on task. The rest is basically cook book steps.

 

[alldodge]

The wife is the oldest on her side, but the youngest is the Exec, because she lives in IN and the rest live out of the state. We need to redo the will our self

 

[aspeck]

Trust, willingness, and ability is important. Trust, not just you having trust in them but all beneficiaries also. I would avoid co-executors because that can lead to hassles. An executor and an assistant or secondary is a good idea. Also important is that the executor knows where everything is kept and what is expected before hand. I was the executor for both mom and dad (mom still alive). Everything was equal between the three brothers until mom changed a few things. I made sure brothers knew what was happening and Mom’s thought process, even though I disagreed with it. I just didn’t want any surprises. Now that I am POA and handle all mom’s finances for her last days, nothing happens out of the ordinary without the other brothers knowing. I have counseled too many families where things got ugly over an inheritance and I don’t want that in my family!

 

[bassman284]

My wife and I named each other, then my brother. Now that our two kids are adults, we will likely rewrite to have them replace my brother as co-executors. Naming a beneficiary has the risk of discord, but as ^^, a well written, and equitable will sails through probate, or whatever process in your state. A beneficiary executor generally works cheap, since they are paying themselves.

Most people have an attorney to file the required documents, and will guide the executor. My brother and I co-executed my parent's wills. The biggest hassle was keeping the attorney on task. The rest is basically cook book steps.

I don't think having co-executors is worth the hassle. My dad made one of my sisters and I co-executors in his will thinking we could split up the work and for some reason his lawyer didn't tell him different. It doesn't work that way. Anything requiring an executor signature requires signature by both co-executors. My sister lives about 40 miles away so everything needing signature would require me driving up to her place or mailing it to her to sign and mail back. Best way is to have one executor and contingent executor. The only good reason to have co-executors is if you don't trust either (or any) to do things the way you want them and you feel the need to have them check on each other.

 

[sam60]

Great question JoLin and great advice by the respondents.

I need to take a closer look at what I have prepared over the last couple of months. I like the contingent reasoning.

 

[harringtondav]

I don't think having co-executors is worth the hassle.

I agree, but that is what our Dad prescribed. It worked out though. I was local, and did most of the heavy lifting. My bro lives 1400 miles away, but is an attorney. I got the books in order and the estate distributed, Bro sent lawlerly nastygrams to the local unresponsive lawyer to get him off his a*s and get the probate closed.

 

[JoLin]

I thank you all for the insight and advice. The will itself will be simple. Almost everything will go to my wife, with small bequests to the kids. Kids have both gotten off to a good start. They struggle a bit financially (as most young people do), but I know they'll understand how important it is that Mom remain financially self-sufficient.

As for the executor, I'm leaning toward asking an in-law or a close friend. I have several that I trust. I don't like the idea of putting that on the wife or kids- they'll have enough to deal with. I do like the idea of a contingent executor. Good thought.

 

[wahlejim]

Just went through estate planning with my parents. I am one of 8 kids. Each Kid is in charge of something so they feel included in all conversations, with myself (family business successor/owner) Sister (accountant) and another sister (lawyer and financial planner) all heavily involved in the financial details. The rest have other responsibilities including medical decisions and splitting up personal belongings. The important thing we all did was sit down together so that everyone knows ahead of time the basic outline and what to expect. An hour of communication can eliminate months of probate.

What worked out best for our family was in the vent of the death of one of them, they will take the estate and split it 50/50 into 2 trusts. The surviving spouse gets half, the kids will get half. That way if they were to remarry, the next spouse couldn't touch half of the estate.

 

[WIMUSKY]

I believe these days they use the term Power of Attorney instead of Executor. We just went thru this with my parents. Dad is exempt from the process due to health issues.

1st get an attorney. It's only $300-$400 to get a Will drawn up. It was more involved than we thought, we learned things that we had no idea about a Will....

Anyone listed in the Will needs to be present when meeting the attorney.

I am listed as the POA, I handle the finances and the Will in general. My bro is the Health Care Agent and would make all the medical decisions. Granted, we both will be involved in all the decision making, but if we can't come to an agreement say with medical decisions, my bro would get the final say.

Also, if you want to leave specific items to an individual, those are listed in the Will.

Also, in the medical section there are decisions about life support, nursing home care, hospice care, cremation or not, organ donation etc..

I wouldn't rule out a family member to be the POA. I would bet they may be hurt if they weren't asked..... I know I don't want anyone but me or my brother taking care of our personal family business...

 

[redneck joe]

as said, trust. Wife first of course then my 'brother'. I don't want a family member to be in charge ive seen that too often go bad.

 

[redneck joe]

oh and make sure you do a living will at the same time.


Check your companies bene's - our paid for ours after a $50 'deductible'

 

[roscoe]

Mine is simple.
Notify everyone listed as relatives, friends, ex's.
Tell them where stuff is.
3 - 2 - 1 GO! FIGHT FOR IT.

 

[Old Ironmaker]

In my experience a close family member acting as Executor can turn out badly. However a family friend that has some knowledge of the estate can be an asset. Power of Attorney for health and finances are very different than Executor of a Estate here in Ontario. An Executor of an Estate has an advantage if he or she has sat down with the individual that made out the Will before they die and review their finances and estate. Mom told me I was executor of their Estate years ago, I pleaded her not to name me. I thought she changed it to a family friend who is a CPA. She didn't and now I'm dealing with a mess as she passed in August and boxes of important paperwork has gone missing since they moved into a retirement residence. I have found 5 different bank accounts in 3 countries, so far. Accountant and Lawyers fees are going to be a big hit to their assets left for Dad. And of course my 2 brothers that are of zero help are telling me I am spending their inheritance on professional fees.

Great question as well as responses.

 

[harringtondav]

I believe these days they use the term Power of Attorney instead of Executor. We just went thru this with my parents.

This may work in some states. I had POA for my dad, but IA still required an executor. The POA allowed me to pay his last bills and keep his house running until we sold it. POA is an excellent tool, assuming trust exists. Wife and I each hold POA for the other. Very useful if either of us becomes unable to fend for ourselves.

 

[aspeck]

In PA a Living Will and POA expire at death. Then the Executor takes over. Usually there are a few days to a month that nothing can be done until the Will is recorded and a “Short Certificate” is issued from the prothonotary stating who the executor is. Then to deal with banks, etc. you will need a death certificate AND a short certificate.

 

[WIMUSKY]

Thankfully we dont have to jump thru all those hoops.

As far as not having a close family member to handle everything, thankfully my parent's trust me and my bro. Maybe in larger families there would issues...

 

[Old Ironmaker]

The main reason I don't think having a child be Executor is that person should have time to grieve and deal with the death of a parent not be tied up on the phone and doing paperwork. It's not a trust issue for me. My kid brothers tend to be armchair Quarterbacks at times.

 

[DouglasW]

Another common term for Executor is Personal Representative and they are for the deceased. POA is another thing entirely and is for the living. I am named in my mother's will as her Personal Representative. She has no person who has her POA and I pay all of her bills now.