Buried Mom yesterday. DNR order.

[Old Ironmaker]

I thank you for all your forthcoming condolences. Born in North Tonawanda NY then moved to Hamilton Ontario in 52' when Mom and Dad married. She lived a good long and fruitful life and turned 87 this past May. All 17 of us, (I call us the usual suspects) celebrated with her at an Italian Restaurant in Hamilton Ont. and she was over the Moon.

The reason I mention her passing is this. Dad and her lived at a retirement residence in Hammertown. She had a DNR (do not resuscitate) order but somehow it wasn't on file with the residences staff. It took paramedics 25 minutes to revive her and the results were not good, in a comma with zero brain activity. We had to make that dreadful decision to take her off life support and watch her gasp for air for 3 of the longest hours of our lives. If you have elderly parents, your spouses or yourselves that have a DNR order make sure it is on record and known. I wonder if there is a medical bracelet available that has DNR on it? I just thought of that while posting this, I hope there is. It may save your loved ones much sorrow and grief.

Thanks all
Johnny D

 

[southkogs]

So sorry to hear of her passing Johnny. It's so hard to face that loss, and find comfort. Even more difficult when you have to make a hard choice and watch pain. Praying for peace and healing for your whole family.

 

[aspeck]

So sorry for your loss ... praying for all of the "usual suspects" that God's peace and love surround you especially during this time.

As for the DNR, yes, they do make a bracelet and a pendant/necklace. I have also seen DNR tattooed to the person's chest, inner arm, or lower neck (pulse points and/or compression point). The tattoos were extremely well ... they get our (EMS) attention.

 

[oldrem]

Sorry for your loss. Lost my Dad a year ago and Mom 3-1/2 years ago. Thankfully the DNRs were in order and followed by the med staffs.

 

[hvymtl939]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Watching my parents age has been the most difficult part of being an adult.

 

[alldodge]

Sorry for your loss, hope the good memories of past times come back quick

 

[MTboatguy]

Sorry to hear this, I unfortunately know the feeling, today it has been 16 years since I lost my Mother. Hope that peace falls on your family.

My Father had a bracelet that had the DNR instructions on it and had a pendant as well, in October it will be 3 years since he passed. Thoughts and prayers be with you and your family.

 

[Old Ironmaker]

Thanks guys I appreciate it. Glad to hear there are ways to ensure a DNR order can be adhered to by the Paramedics. Good to know about the bracelets and necklaces. The tattoos are ingenious. I told my lady Tia about this post and asked her tonight what she would want. Good question. She's 55 I'm 64. Struggling with that question ourselves. Dad is 91 and definitely wants resuscitation, he want's to live to 100 and I bet he does. My Nani, his Momma lived to 93 and was still gardening in Italy the day before she passed. I always say it's not quantity but quality of life. In the last week he has aged.

 

[Kevinhilkey]

Im sorry to step in on your conversation. As a paramedic, please be aware that each state is different. For example, in Kentucky we are only allowed to honor a state EMS DNR. Not a bracelet, not a tattoo, not a nursing home, not a hospital DNR, etc. it’s sad, I know. Please verify with your physician what is required in your state.

 

[sphelps]

So sorry for your loss . She sounded like wonderful person ..

 

[82rude]

Condolences Old Ironmaker.

 

[tpenfield]

My condolences. Sorry to hear about the DNR ordeal. Good advice for all to be sure to have them available to care-takers, etc.

 

[Scott Danforth]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[64osby]

Condolences to you and your family Ironmaker.

My Mom passed 3 weeks ago. Complications from a fall. DNR and advance directives were on file with the hospital. Hospital Doc called me at 4am asking to give a blood transfusion. Advance directive was clear to not allow that. It is not easy, but following the wishes of those you love is the correct choice.

Mom went to hospice, we were told to expect 12 to 48 hours. Mom passed 14 days later. She was a tough NYC girl.

She and my dad lived in N. Tonawanda from '53 to '60.

 

[angus63]

My sympathies for the passing of your Mom and the hardship not honoring her DNR caused your family and you.

 

[Old Ironmaker]

Condolences to you and your family Ironmaker.

My Mom passed 3 weeks ago. Complications from a fall. DNR and advance directives were on file with the hospital. Hospital Doc called me at 4am asking to give a blood transfusion. Advance directive was clear to not allow that. It is not easy, but following the wishes of those you love is the correct choice.

Mom went to hospice, we were told to expect 12 to 48 hours. Mom passed 14 days later. She was a tough NYC girl.

She and my dad lived in N. Tonawanda from '53 to '60.

Sorry for your loss as well 64. Small world, I love N.T. I basically grew up there until it was time to start school and spent many a summer there with my Grand Parents on Payne Ave.

Thanks Kevin for your advice, because of that I looked into the laws here and just yesterday learned that in Ontario a DNR order must be on hand in writing and authorized by a Physician for it to be valid. The retirement residence that has a nurse on duty 24 hours had "resuscitate" on her file not DNR. Dad who is 91 wants resuscitation, he says he will live to 100 and we believe him.

 

[JASinIL2006]

So sorry for your loss. Peace to your family.

 

[RiverRoost]

So sorry. It's, of course, a horrible time to go through. But as Kevinhilkey replied, in many states our hands are tied and we have to go full-on rescusitative efforts without paperwork on file or family with decisive powers present. Makes for a really difficult situation at times. On both sides of the situation. I have been through it myself.
My father had discussed his wishes with me but not my brother. When the time came, I had to fight for his wishes against family.
Sorry. I didn't intend to turn this into a diatribe.

 

[WIMUSKY]

Condolences here too......

Been going thru that same issue with making the Will since my dad isn't in great shape. However, they both want to be resuscitated....