Bassy
Lieutenant Commander
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2003
- Messages
- 1,795
During a trial in a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting attorney<br />called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she <br />would<br />tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, on the <br />Bible, so<br />help her God. The witness was a proper, well-dressed, elderly lady, a<br />retired teacher, well-spoken and poised.<br /><br />The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs Jones, do <br />you<br />know me?"<br /><br />She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr Williams. I've known you <br />since<br />you were a young boy; and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to <br />me.<br />You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and talk badly about <br />them<br />behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't <br />the<br />sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit,<br />paper pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."<br /><br />The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. Then,<br />slowly backing away, fearing the looks on the faces of the judge and <br />jurors,<br />not to mention the court reporter who had documented every word. Not <br />knowing<br />what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do <br />you<br />know the defense attorney?"<br /><br />She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was <br />a<br />youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking problem. The <br />man<br />can't build up or keep a normal relationship with anyone; and his law<br />practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he <br />cheated<br />on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."<br /><br />The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in <br />his<br />chair, looking at the floor. Laughter, mixed with gasps, thundered<br />throughout the courtroom, and the audience was on the verge of chaos. <br /><br />At this point, the judge gaveled the courtroom to silence, motioned <br />both<br />counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice told them, "If <br />either of<br />you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail!" 
