Aimed at us guys near 60

[PiratePast40]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

My father in law lives with us and is in poor health. We know the end will come one day and we have had several uncomfortable discussions about his wishes. The issue of a final directive is something that absolutely must be understood and discussed. We've learned what "resuscitation" really means and the different magnitudes of the attempts and the possible negative consequences. I'd encourage anyone in the situation to find ways to obtain the information to make informed decisions. Ask blunt questions of medical specialists to determine likely outcomes. I don't want to go into details because everyone has their own situation. Only to say that some popular conceptions of medical intervention may be totally wrong and may be contrary to a persons true wishes.

 

[veritas honus]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

eastont,

Here's an opportunity to make a wonderful difference in the life of another. In so doing, you'll enrich your own...
Is the easy way out ever really worth it? People neglect and damage their boats all the time taking the "easy way out". This "magic pill" you speak of sounds like an easy way out which will neglect and damage everything which makes you what you are... Stay strong eastont...



Everyone,

Agreed... This is a very touchy subject. I never profess nor imply knowing The Good Lord's will. I have my beliefs, and I have my faith. It disheartens me to hear people telling others what God wants, what God needs, what God demands, and most of all... what God hates. I don't know what God wants or needs. I don't know that God has ever "demanded" anything from man. I absolutely do not believe that God Hates. I believe we were created for the purpose of bettering ourselves and those around us. To be the best we can, and to help others achieve the same or better. I feel that to take ones own life is like a denial of God's importance (for want of better words). I do all in my ability to set the best possible example for my children every moment of every day, in everything I do. These are simply my thoughts, my beliefs... Some of the ideals with which my faith is founded.

 

[JRJ]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

My step father committed suicide, which I understood. What I didn't get was him having to shoot himself twice with a 357. There was a maid in the house and apparently he was trying not to make a mess. Really sad.

 

[mscher]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

Would you have wanted, your own Mother, to take a "magic pill", as to end her own suffering and spare ANY emotional and/or fancial load, on your life?

Your Mother would never want this and of course, you wouldn't and your loved ones wouldn't, becasue they feel, the same way about you.

Aging, all the usual problems that go with it and any of the major disase that affect older people, eventually ending in death, are just as much a part of "life", as being born, learning to drive a car, or having your own family.

Sure, it will save some money and a lot of extra tears, but this is all part of the "human experience", which is what separate us from most animals. No different than having a baby, that will be disabled it's entire life, or having a Son/Daughter, who legs were blown off in the war.

By you experiencing you own parents issues,(for better or worse) in a strange way you are enriching you own family's perspective on what love, commitment, pain, sorrow, etc. are really all about. Don't deny your family this important experience.

That why people should attend funerals of loved one's, whether they "feel up to it" or not. Funerals are an important part of human life, every in the world.

I also believe that when a loved one dies, one should not just automatically start taking Valium , anti depressants, etc. to deal with their grief - THEY SHOULD BE GRIEVING -BIG TIME! They just lost a love one or mate that they have spent much of their life with. One SHOULD be extremely upset and grieving is the way to get though their emotions and eventually move ahead with their lives. Taking drugs simply masks the emotions of what is a completely natural process.

Best wishes.

 

[eastont]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

Some very interesting takes on the subject. And some wandering away from the actual question, which is completely understanding considering the seriousness of the subject.

Quite a number of years ago I had a very close friend watch his wife suffer through the last weeks of her life, doing nothing more than breathe and feed via a tube. She was kept painless with lots of morphine administered with one of those machines, and then suddenly he phoned to say she had passed away earlier that morning while the care nurse was in doing her daily duties. Later on while at a fly-in fishing camp a mutual friend, after many beers, informed us that he had paid the nurse to give her an overdose of morphine and that's how she died. When I confronted him with this he would answer by saying "that's not important, what's important is she's pain free in a better place"
It's made me wonder for a very long time. I asked my sister, who works in a long term care facility if that could be true. She said that she didn't think it could be true......but you never know what money can make people do.

It's been very interesting reading the responses, and about some other's similar situations.

 

[Davem3]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

well, for openers I agree with JB 100%. Why? Simple, what JB has said so well, is the very conerstone of our founding fathers vision for our great country, and rightly so. I do not believe in going out and cramming my ( or any opinion for that matter) opinion down anyone's throat.

that is just rude and inconsiderate.............

back on tack, errrr track.

july 2008, a month i will never ever forget.

week one, lost my grandmother, she was 93 years old from cancer.

week two , lost my dad, he succumbed to stage 4 cancer, it was in his bones and vitals by the end.

week 3, finally a break..........sort of

week 4 , lost my godfather and uncle, liver failure and cancer............

out of all this, my dad's passing was the one that shocked us the most. he never let on as to what he was going through, and never would have found out, had it not been for a brave sweet nurse, that told me at the hospital, that we literally had 2 weeks give or take to be ready, my own mom was last in the dark as well...............

that man had more nerve, moxie and strength, than i have ever had, and is one heck of a example to us all.

I am probably the only person in my companies history to take 5 weeks off, and yet still have a job at the end of it........great family business for sure.

4 years later, no the pain is not gone, nor will ever be, i firmly believe that time does not heal all wounds, but it does deaden the pain somewhat.

that woman is braver beyond all words in the English language, and as Bob so eloquently put it, we are here if we can help in any way possible.

and you are a great man for helping her out and keeping her, even though she might do a lousy job, she is going through hell right now, and probably needs every dime she can earn to get her through, God know's you don't get squat on a pension, that is for sure, and it get's her mind off of things, if only for a little while.

and veritas, very well said, my friend.

this to me is NOT political, no not at all............. it is merely part of life that we all must eventually face, weather we want to or not.

please give her a hug for me.............

best wishes,

David

P.S. i had to read for a while before i finally chimed in, i wanted to give some serious thought.

please excuse me as i go and cry my *** off once again ..........

 

[tswiczko]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

Sounds like she may need some counseling, perhaps her current situation is affecting her work. Maybe you could help her find some, but I definitely would not give her a gun.
It's awful for people to suffer but it is not for us to decide when it ends. both my Grandmothers lingered and it was hard to watch.

My father always worried about lingering but all the men from both Mom and Dads family went quick. Some had massive coronary's walking up to the job site, some died in battle, my Father passed away while hunting with his brother. My uncle said that Dad sat down to eat a sandwich he brought with him and fell over.

 

[GTS225]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

First, don't give her a firearm. It's far too messy of a method, and leaves that mess for somebody else to clean up. On top of that, from a firearms enthusiast's point of view, it gives additional "ammunition" to the anti-firearms crowd.

If one must decide that it's time to "help a mortal conditon out", I suggest a good dose of Nyquil (or equivalent), a good book, an exhaust-sized hose, and a remote spot with your car. The cold drug will make you drousy, the book will help, the carbon dioxide will finish the job after your drift off to sleep. It's (relatively) clean, the ones left behind can do thier greaving, then get on with life, rather than having to watch you waste away over several years with everyone suffering while it happens.

I won't discuss the religious or social nuances of the above. I only put it out for consideration, as it seems to be a coldly sensible approach to the O/P's "problem".

Roger

 

[JoLin]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

Just my take on it, we have no choice at all about coming into the world, we DO have a choice about leaving it.

My sentiment, too. My biggest fear is that if and when I ever reached a point that I'd 'had enough' of this life, I'll be physically incapable of doing anything about it. There are any number of sudden events (like a stroke and paralysis) that can rob one of the means and opportunity to carry out that decision.

It's a serious, scary topic.

 

[GTS225]

Re: Aimed at us guys near 60

Just my take on it, we have no choice at all about coming into the world, we DO have a choice about leaving it.

Nuff said...

*************************************************************************************

and on a bit lighter note; We came into this world naked, screaming, and covered with someone else's body fluids.......what's to stop us from going out the same way?

Roger