A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

[spratt]

Mark, would youu like me to publish my address, you know, since I am the fav charity? From my proceeds, I will make sure you are compensated enough to find a new friend, and ensure the old one is flushed (er, buried) properly...

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Charity starts at home... So I just gave myself $20.00 and flushed with a moment of silence, well almost silent.

 

[spratt]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Some people are so cheap!!! Is $20 all you thnk a life is worth, NY??? Sheesh, I believe I will write out a check right now for $500...just, how do I explain that to the wife??? Grief counseling?

 

[Luna Sea]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Poor fishy,<br /><br />Reminds me of the time my downstairs neighbor, whom I shared a washing machine with, asked me to borrow some bleach. I thought nothing of it at the time. The next day I was downstairs and he was emptying his 55 gallon salt water aquarium out the window. Turns out he cleaned/bleached the coral and put it back in the tank, a little too soon I might add. Lots of flushing that day!!!

 

[Mark42]

A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

A dear and close member of my family as passed away. He was found in his home lying on the floor. Best guess is he went unnoticed for a day and my wife reported that he hadn’t been eating well for the last week. I found him when I was using the first floor bathroom. That’s where we kept him; in his fish bowl on the vanity in the bathroom. <br /><br />He was a good fish, always happy to see you when you had to take a… well, use the bathroom. He would swim over to the side of the bowl and wag his big tail fin in a display of excitement. Sometimes we would play for hours. Just press your finger on his bowl and dragging it around, and he would chase and attack it. I remember those times fondly. <br /><br />My son would change his water religiously and even scrub the few rocks that were in his bowl. I think his favorite rock was the big blue one. That’s the rock he was laying on when he was found. <br /><br />Nothing was too good for this fish. We bought only the best dry brand name fish food. Not the stuff from A&P, no way. We only bought his food from Shop Rite. He never needed treatment for fish diseases, never got fin rot or anything. And he never complained about being kept in the bathroom.<br /><br />We were going to have a nice service for him, but seeing as we never gave him a name we decided just to dump him in the toilet he spent so much time looking at, and flush him.<br /><br />He was 3, maybe 4 years old, no one can remember.<br /><br />No flowers are needed, as we know he would not have wanted that. Instead, he would prefer you donate money to his favorite charity. So send us a card with some money in it and we'll see it gets there in your name.<br /><br />Thank you for your understanding,<br /><br />Mark and family.

 

[Mark42]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

No kidding, when we went on vacation and couldn't get a house sitter, we brough this guy with us. He has been to the New Jersey shore and to Sag Harbor, NY. A well traveled fish. We just poured him into a tupperware container for the trip. <br /><br />Luna, That neighbor was out a few bucks. Salt water fish are not cheap!<br /><br />Now I know you guys can come up with larger donations that that!

 

[KennyKenCan]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

This sounds like a perfect opportunity for a FISH FRY!

 

[spratt]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Oh, forgot to mention why the wife will be so curious...$500 is about the cost of the lift kit my truck needs...

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Originally posted by spratt:<br /> Oh, forgot to mention why the wife will be so curious...$500 is about the cost of the lift kit my truck needs...

Tell her it was on sale.. All women relate to the word SALE. Got my new speakers that way, even brought home a balloon. Got that separate. Amazing who easy I bought her off.

 

[spratt]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Ya know, truthfully, Mark, i can feel yer pain and suffering...most of us have been through this type of ordeal and can understand your loss...some folks just cannot understand what joy, happiness, love, friendship that .69 cents can buy!!! Why, if you are too pained to replace your friend, and trusted family mamber, you just might possibly start suffering from post-friend loss, and the results could be devastating for other members fo the immediate family...oh, I am not too concerned that they are in any danger, but having to look at your downfallen face every day, hear your sobbing when you go into that bathroom every time, and the constant back and forth movement of your head as you relive those moments of joy as the fish swam back and forth...you may be in danger yourself...they just may find solace in removing you to the same place the fishy has gone...so, remember, put on a happy face, and no matter how much pain you may feel inside, you have to be big and brave...after all, Goldy would want that!!!!

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

<sniff> i'm sorry for your loss.<br /><br />maybe if you dig up the septic tank and take goldy back to walmart, they'll replace him for free, with enough wailing & uncontrollable sobbing

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Originally posted by spratt:<br /> NY...all it takes is a balloon!!!?????????? You are the luckiest guy I know...we are talking $500 sewing machines here!!!!!!! $1000 Serger machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And God only knows how much in FABRIC to cut to pieces and stick into those machines!!!!!!!<br /><br />I will see if she will up my allowance...after all, I am the MAN in my house, and I am the one who WORKS for HER money!!!!!

The word LIE comes to mind. They are only $50.00, then offer up a dinner at her choice. Eat hardy before you go, then just order a beverage, tell her you're not feeling well. She'll order small, and fast, get you home before you upchuck. Next morning you are feeling great, install the boosters, thank her for taking care of you. Man is this great?

 

[spratt]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

NY...all it takes is a balloon!!!?????????? You are the luckiest guy I know...we are talking $500 sewing machines here!!!!!!! $1000 Serger machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And God only knows how much in FABRIC to cut to pieces and stick into those machines!!!!!!!<br /><br />I will see if she will up my allowance...after all, I am the MAN in my house, and I am the one who WORKS for HER money!!!!!

 

[spratt]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

I dunno if that would work, NY...sh gots this "Lie Detector" built in...stuff comes into her ears, she blinks and digests it, tehn out comes those dreaded words..."You are lying tome!!!" And when I hear that, I know what happens then...no treats at night for a while, a time whcih only she judges appropriate...man can't live on bread alone, ya know!!!<br /><br />Dinner huh...? So how do you get away with a balloon.....

 

[KaGee]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

Perhaps this will ease your pain...<br /> Virtual Goldfish <br /><br />

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

spratt.. time to yank the plug, and take over. I might suggest several options, but one inparticular stands out. Tell her this is the way it's gonna be----then DUCK..

 

[crab bait]

Re: A Tragedy has Befallen My Family

i'll send ya some stink bait an a bobber.. you get another..<br /><br />see,, there's plenty of fish in the....