A Politically Correct Christmas Story

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... <br />How to live in a world that's politically correct? <br />His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". <br />"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. <br />And labour conditions at the North Pole <br />were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. <br /><br />Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, <br />Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. <br />And equal employment had made it quite clear <br />That Santa had better not use just reindeer. <br />So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid <br />Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! <br /><br />The runners had been removed from his sleigh; <br />The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. <br />And people had started to call for the cops <br />When they heard sled noises on their rooftops. <br />Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. <br />His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."<br /><br />And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, <br />Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose <br />And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, <br />Demanding millions in over-due compensation. <br />So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, <br />Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, <br /><br />Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, <br />Demanding from now on her title was Ms. <br />And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion <br />That making a choice could cause so much commotion. <br />Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, <br />Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. <br /><br />Nothing that might be construed to pollute. <br />Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot. <br />Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise. <br />Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys. <br />Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. <br />Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic. <br /><br />No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. <br />Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. <br />And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, <br />Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. <br />For they raised the hackles of those psychological <br />Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. <br /><br />No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; <br />Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. <br />Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; <br />And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. <br />So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed; <br />He just could not figure out what to do next. <br /><br />He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, <br />But you've got to be careful with that word today. <br />His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; <br />Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. <br />Something special was needed, a gift that he might <br />Give to all without angering the left or the right. <br /><br />A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, <br />Each group of people, every religion;<br />Every ethnicity, every hue, <br />Everyone, everywhere...even you. <br />So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... <br />May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
 

NOSLEEP

Commander
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
2,442
Re: A Politically Correct Christmas Story

Beautiful SBN. :D <br /><br />Merry Christmas to you.
 

Bassy

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 15, 2003
Messages
1,795
Re: A Politically Correct Christmas Story

I enjoyed that. Thanks SBN and Merry Christmas to you.<br />Bassy
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: A Politically Correct Christmas Story

What NOSLEEP said.. I just didnt feel like typing :D :D
 
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