LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and<br />an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have<br />read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he<br />was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban<br />legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.<br />-------------------<br />My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was<br />just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone<br />else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would<br />have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose<br />thighs were these and what happened to mine?<br /><br />I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry,<br />I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy *****hose.<br /><br />Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was<br />next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my<br />new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my<br />original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear<br />complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts<br />would stay in fashion.<br /><br />It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One<br />morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as<br />the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the<br />hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced<br />one section at a time.<br /><br />How clever and fiendish. Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is<br />supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity.<br /><br />NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I<br />gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My poor neck<br />disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.<br />That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical<br />profession by myself.<br /><br />Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't<br />plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting<br />those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone<br />has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I<br />finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really<br />good price for them!<br /><br />GIRLS WARN YOUR FRIENDS, HUSBANDS WARN YOUR WIVES!
