-ROMANCE MATHEMATICS- <br /><br />Smart man + smart woman = romance <br /><br />Smart man + dumb woman = affair <br /><br />Dumb man + smart woman = marriage <br /><br />Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy <br /><br /><br /> -OFFICE ARITHMETIC- <br /><br />Smart boss + smart employee = profit <br /><br />Smart boss + dumb employee = production <br /><br />Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion <br /><br />Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime <br /> <br /><br /> -SHOPPING MATH- <br /><br />A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. <br /><br />A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. <br /> <br /> <br /> -GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS- <br /><br />A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. <br /><br />A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. <br /><br />A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. <br /><br />A successful woman is one who can find such a man. <br /> <br /> <br /> -HAPPINESS- <br /><br />To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. <br /><br />To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. <br /> <br /> <br /> -LONGEVITY- <br /><br />Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. <br /> <br /><br /> -PROPENSITY TO CHANGE- <br /><br />A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. <br /><br />A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. <br /> <br /><br /> -DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE- <br /><br />A woman has the last word in any argument. <br /><br />Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. <br /> <br /> <br /> -HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED- <br /><br />Old relatives used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.<br /><br /> 
