achris
More fish than mountain goat
- Joined
- May 19, 2004
- Messages
- 27,468
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE<br /><br />1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He<br />thought he was God and I didn't.<br />2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.<br />3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!<br />4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.<br />5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.<br /><br />6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.<br />7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me<br />8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.<br />9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.<br />10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.<br /><br />11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.<br />12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.<br />13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.<br />14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.<br />15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.<br /><br />16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?<br />17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!<br />18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.<br />19.. Procrastinate Now!<br />20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?<br /><br />21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.<br />22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance<br />23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!<br />24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.<br />25..He who dies with the most toys is none the less dead.<br />26.A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times<br />the memory.<br />27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a<br />pig.<br />28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.<br />29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.<br />30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.<br /><br />Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.<br />Will Rogers
