Twidget
Commander
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2004
- Messages
- 2,192
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that a little girl does something wrong and makes her mommy cry or makes her unhappy, one of her hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and said: "You must have really pissed off Grandma." <br /><br />Two men crashed in their private plane on a South Pacific Island. Both survived. One of the men brushed he off and then proceeded to run all over the island to see if they had any chance of survival. When he returned, he rushed up to the other man and screamed, "This Island is uninhabited, there is no food, there is no water. We are going to die!" The other man leaned back against the fuselage of the wrecked plane, folded his arms and responded, "No we're not. I make over $100,000 a week." The first man grabbed his friend and shook him. "Listen, we are on an uninhabited island. There is no food, no water. We are going to die!" The other man, unruffled, again responded. "No, I make over $100,000 a week." Mystified, the first man, taken aback with such an answer again repeated, "For the last time, I'm telling you we ARE doomed. There is NO one else on this island. There is NO food. There is NO water. We are, I repeat, we ARE going to die." Still unfazed, the first man looked the other in the eyes and said, "Don't make me say this again. I make over $100,000 per week. I tithe 10%! My PASTOR WILL find us!<br /><br /><br />A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she would get 3 wishes. The Genie said, "Nope! Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant one wish. So.what'll it be?" The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These are countries that have been fighting for thousands of years. I'm good,<br />but not THAT good. I don't think it can be done so make another wish." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well I've not been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with house cleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for. A good mate." The Genie let out a long sigh, "Let me see that map again."
