SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"10 Commandments of Marriage"<br /> <br />Commandment 1.<br />Marriages are made in heaven.<br />But so again, are thunder and lightning.<br /> <br />Commandment 2.<br />If you want your spouse to listen and<br />pay strict attention to every word you say,<br />talk in your sleep.<br /> <br />Commandment 3.<br />Marriage is grand --<br />and divorce is at least 100 grand!<br /> <br />Commandment 4.<br />Married life is very frustrating.<br />In the first year of marriage,<br />the man speaks and the woman listens.<br />In the second year, the woman speaks<br />and the man listens.<br />In the third year, they both speak and<br />the neighbors listen.<br /> <br />Commandment 5.<br />When a man opens the door of his car<br />for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:<br />Either the car is new or the wife is.<br /><br />Commandment 6.<br />Marriage is when a man and woman<br />become as one; the trouble starts when<br />they try to decide which one.<br /> <br />Commandment 7.<br />Before marriage, a man will lie awake<br />all night thinking about something you<br />said. After marriage, he will fall asleep<br />before you finish.<br /> <br />Commandment 8.<br />Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,<br />understanding, economical, and a good<br />cook. But the law allows only one wife.<br /> <br />Commandment 9.<br />Every woman wants a man who is handsome,<br />understanding, economical and a considerate<br />lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.<br /> <br />Commandment 10.<br />Man is incomplete until he marries.<br />After that, he is finished.<br />_______________________________________________<br />And this to go along with the commandments.<br />_______________________________________________<br />Bonus Commandment story.<br />A married couple married MANY years came upon<br />a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish<br />and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make<br />a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the<br />well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment<br />but then smiled, "Wow! It really works!!!"
