after all that i still couldnt get custody

[bandit86]

been battling to get custody of my son, now 11.5.for 3 years, had court and I was told by the judge it was the closest case he ever saw. I'm a great father and keep up the good work, but after careful comsideration she gets to retain custody.

Childrens aid have been invoveld with her for 4 years, been threatening (said so in court) to take her kids away, (she keeps cranking them out, at #5 now) but it wasn't enough.

The school records were dug up that my son is missing on average 60 days a year. not enough

he has unexplained bruises he lies about. not enough

She makes up stories faster then Stephen King, contradictory ones and outragous ones but that wasnt quite enough

In the end, the judge felt it would be bad to split the kids up since he looks up to his drug addict 16 year old brother who is missing even more school. That was enough for him.

Even though Childrens aid testified they're talking about pulling all the kids, because now she is asking for help and going to parenting classes, she is taking a step in the right direction she is showing she can change, she should retain custody.

I almost wrapped my teeth around a barrell when I heard that. I've been in a daze the last 2 weeks, I have no energy left to fight anymore.

So I'm tryong for an appeal, but was warned they rarely suceed.

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Welcome to the world of the mother's can't do wrong network. I can write a chapter on this subject but I won't. All I can say is that the courts for some reason, seem to lean towards the woman's side. It's like the old days of ''its best if the child were with the mother''. Now if the child were with the dad and came home with bruises...well, totally different outcome for sure. All I can say is good luck and I hope your outcome is better than mine was. Keep fighting for your rights.

 

[ezbtr]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Oh God - I know your story.....my girls mom should have lost custody 15 or so years ago - they really were anti dad then, is slowly getting better. The absolute non communication and actually getting things DONE between the courts, Child Support services, DMV, credit bureaus(yes all these are affected here) is unbelievable, took me 2 yrs just to prove my innocence, get credit somewhat repaired, license unsuspended and SOME of my garnished wages returned......all because my first ex lied, I beat her in court twice(course she had 2 other kids w/ her 2nd ex, he fi nally said enough of being financially bled, she got house, car, etc - does she work?? Hell no, her income is popping out kids).
Comments from all parties were, "oh, sorry we goofed" and she has yet to be penalized at all.
Just go for as much time as you can with your kid, do the right thing, keep on keepin on, keep notes of ALL, including your visitation times.

 

[ezbtr]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Welcome to the world of the mother's can't do wrong network. I can write a chapter on this subject but I won't. All I can say is that the courts for some reason, seem to lean towards the woman's side. It's like the old days of ''its best if the child were with the mother''. Now if the child were with the dad and came home with bruises...well, totally different outcome for sure. All I can say is good luck and I hope your outcome is better than mine was. Keep fighting for your rights.

Um yeah, us dads would be in jail in a heartbeat and severely penalized for ANY reason we were falsely blamed for.....

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Um yeah, us dads would be in jail in a heartbeat and severely penalized for ANY reason we were falsely blamed for.....

Absolutely. I had to take a polygraph to prove my innocence. Then they offered it to her and she refused. Then a few years later I get served a piece bond..and for what. No allogations or charges. She just went to the cops and got a bond. Couldn't believe it. No justice at times. I could write a book. But I won't...

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Gentlemen..... let's not turn this into a bashing post of who has or had the worse custody situation. Child custody varies greatly from area to area with other factor's such as judges and lawyers.

Let's keep things civil and try not to insult many of the females that frequent this board or the post will get zapped.

I feel for anyone who goes through the civil process since most of them are ugly.

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Absolutely Bob. My apologies. I know this is a minority few. And the same goes with bad fathers. I would never suggest the opposite.

 

[slia67]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Hang in there Bandit. Just the fact that you have fought for 3 years tells the court system something. It will all be worth it when he does become yours...

I know first hand. Hang in there bud.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Just remember having custody is not an "ownership" thing. The children involved are often hurt and confused as well.

 

[rainman99]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Bandit not sure how the the court system works there. Here when the child turns 13 they can chose what parent they want to live with. If that is the case hang in there.

 

[kend301]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

Very touchy subject , It took almost 9 years for me to get custody of my daughter . NEVER give up, mine came down to where she was happy and her Mom finally listened . Best of luck my friend !

 

[Mike Robinson]

Re: after all that i still couldnt get custody

bandit86

I can only imagine what you are going through, fortunately I have not had to go there.

I can say though that the most important thing is the health and welfare of your son. Don't give up, do everything you can to help him.