How I Met My Bryant
Chapter One:
Is That the Bilge Running or is the Boat just happy to see me
I decided to get a different boat this year and sell the two I have. I am able to purchase before selling so I can start looking right away. Main focus is a really nice interior and good outside looks but does not have to be a powerhouse, so even 3.0's are eligible. Looking this early (mid Feb) I am expecting some water test delays and even push backs. On the water test is mandatory though, so I will let even a seemingly great prospect go if logistics do not pan out.
I begin compiling a list mainly from Craigslist and also some brokers around Dallas. One comes up immediately, does not seem to look all that great, but it is close and the guy says water ready come on let's go to the lake I think this will be a good process to go through if even just for the practice. Later on you will see that this was a valuable exercise but for other reasons.
He had been on a cruise and had not answered my queries for about a week. Then we got together and set a time for the test. He had me convinced it was ready after I asked what I thought were "the" questions. He called me while I was on the way and asked me to meet him at Lowes out by the sheds. He supposedly has a business office so what the heck is this, oh well. He takes me to the boat, it is in an open slot in a storage facility. It has a very nice snap cover on it, he says he never used it until this year because it was in covered storage before. For as nice as the cover is, the hull is on the opposite side of the scale. Interior is not near nice enough either, but I had suspected and expected that. So now I am in full go-thru-the-motions practice run for me to get used to dealing with boat owners. I did pay the guy $25 for the trouble up front.
He gets in and hooks up the battery. I am looking around for a spigot to run it on muffs, but he just starts it up and gets it to idle because "if I keep the run time under ten seconds...". That was it in my mind, and should have just let him keep the $25 and walked away...except we were in his Jeep of course. We get it hooked up, lights checked and head to the ramp.
Just before this he said he had to pay the storage yard to get caught up so he could get to the boat. Then he mentions we will have to sneak in a back ramp because he is behind on his pass to the private one he had been bragging about. We get to the ramp, it was not all that far, and he gets it launched, he seems fairly competent. He got it started, we leave the trailer, and we motor off. I am paying big attention to the temp gauge.
Boat is a dog. I can tell he is trying to cover that part up but it is just slow, and the engine is making a not so good clanking sound almost every so often, probably a fouled plug backfire. The temp gauge is not moving. He says that is good, but I know it is not, needle is resting on the peg. I am getting a faint smell like grease burning, thinking valve cover or timing cover, some tin leaking maybe. My turn to drive. It has a 4.3 TKS but NO POWER STEERING IS INSTALLED, steering is horrible. Then I realize that smell is not grease, but rubber burning, now big time. He says STOP, opens the engine cover and we go to zero visibility for about a minute as the rubber smoke clears. The bilge pump is running solid, the bilge itself has a lot of water in it. He starts to call friends to see if they can come tow us in. I watch the bilge and the pump is starting to make a dent in it now that the engine is not running. It catches up, but then still kicks on every couple of minutes. I mention that the engine should start and run and we should just head back to the ramp and let whatever happens to the engine happen. It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
So he starts trying to get it started and somehow totally messed up the throttle controls, and it would not make anything back at the engine move, got it stuck in throttle only kinda, but it would not pop back out. We tried several things but it was just too sloppy on the inside from age and the lever was the only thing moving.
He gets ahold of someone that has agreed, after much begging, to go splash his jetski and tow us in. It will take about 45 minutes, but so far is our best chance to not end up on the 6 o'clock news. In the area we are in there is a demo going on for a new big $150k wake boat but they only pause every so often to look at us waving with the engine cover up. I do not blame them, this guy I am with is trying to make a quick sale I figure because he is way overextended somewhere. Not their deal, and I get the feeling if we started to go low in the water they would do something. That is about the time I can't remember that there are life jackets in the boat, and kind of panic a little. Then I remembered I saw them earlier in the bow seat storage. The undercurrent of the day so far is this: "It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
We are bobbing around waiting for the jetski guy, and he starts wondering what happened to the engine. I said it was probably engine drain plugs left out and was not summerized. He was just sure the mechanic puts them back in after draining. But water was getting into the boat instead of the block and exhaust, so impeller was probably ok but the thing was just not ready to go on the water. And the other leak that the bilge was keeping up with, one shift cable or ujoint bellows,who knows now. He says the engine is toast. I said maybe not, and give him the order of things to do to find out later. Compression check first, then if that is ok try to find out where the water went that was supposed to get to the exhaust. Then fix that, and replace exhaust bellows. And of course, It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
He is online editing his Craigslist ad, trying to figure a new price, yes he really did that while we were bobbing around. We talk some more and he waits to post his changes as I try to convince him he needs to assess damages first. But then I remember how he was acting since we met, this guy just needs some cash fast.
Jetski guy gets there, just before he did I had started looking around for a tow rope. The only thing I found long enough was the anchor rope. The rope was looped in there, and we had no knife, so jetski guy had to take the anchor and work with that. It took a few minutes, and by now it as only 50 degrees, jetski guy is barefoot, and of course we are getting loser to the dam.
The tow in starts, jetski guy still barefoot and getting colder. He is now trying to sit on his feet. Every time a wave splashes him he flips his buddy off for about a minute.
We get to the ramp, the wind is making a difficult effort out of trailering the thing. They get it done, he had to wade around for a time. They were both very cold by now. Barefoot jestki guy is very visibly angry with his buddy now. So far it was quite a show for $25.
We get going back to my truck, I give him another $10 for his buddy, and he asks me advice again on what to ask for the boat now. I told him worst case it was gonna be 5 large. He wanted 6700 for the thing, it might have booked that in good condition. Well, never this one, it was just bad Next day it was on CL for $2800 with an ok description of what was wrong with it, and 2 days later when I got curious it was not on CL anymore.
Lesson for me is to be sure they know all of my expectations after it progresses from a visual and q&q. That it will be run on muffs to make sure it is circulating water on out the exhaust. That is for their protection should it progress to the 30 minute water test. Then the water test, no skimping on the time. I will pay for an on the water test but not for the muff test. If they balk at any of this they get to hear all about this nearly disastrous adventure, with an exhortation at the end to perform the simple and inexpensive due diligence that will protect all parties.
Next,
Chapter Two: No testing allowed because it is Immaculate and Seller has the words that (dis)prove it.
Chapter One:
Is That the Bilge Running or is the Boat just happy to see me
I decided to get a different boat this year and sell the two I have. I am able to purchase before selling so I can start looking right away. Main focus is a really nice interior and good outside looks but does not have to be a powerhouse, so even 3.0's are eligible. Looking this early (mid Feb) I am expecting some water test delays and even push backs. On the water test is mandatory though, so I will let even a seemingly great prospect go if logistics do not pan out.
I begin compiling a list mainly from Craigslist and also some brokers around Dallas. One comes up immediately, does not seem to look all that great, but it is close and the guy says water ready come on let's go to the lake I think this will be a good process to go through if even just for the practice. Later on you will see that this was a valuable exercise but for other reasons.
He had been on a cruise and had not answered my queries for about a week. Then we got together and set a time for the test. He had me convinced it was ready after I asked what I thought were "the" questions. He called me while I was on the way and asked me to meet him at Lowes out by the sheds. He supposedly has a business office so what the heck is this, oh well. He takes me to the boat, it is in an open slot in a storage facility. It has a very nice snap cover on it, he says he never used it until this year because it was in covered storage before. For as nice as the cover is, the hull is on the opposite side of the scale. Interior is not near nice enough either, but I had suspected and expected that. So now I am in full go-thru-the-motions practice run for me to get used to dealing with boat owners. I did pay the guy $25 for the trouble up front.
He gets in and hooks up the battery. I am looking around for a spigot to run it on muffs, but he just starts it up and gets it to idle because "if I keep the run time under ten seconds...". That was it in my mind, and should have just let him keep the $25 and walked away...except we were in his Jeep of course. We get it hooked up, lights checked and head to the ramp.
Just before this he said he had to pay the storage yard to get caught up so he could get to the boat. Then he mentions we will have to sneak in a back ramp because he is behind on his pass to the private one he had been bragging about. We get to the ramp, it was not all that far, and he gets it launched, he seems fairly competent. He got it started, we leave the trailer, and we motor off. I am paying big attention to the temp gauge.
Boat is a dog. I can tell he is trying to cover that part up but it is just slow, and the engine is making a not so good clanking sound almost every so often, probably a fouled plug backfire. The temp gauge is not moving. He says that is good, but I know it is not, needle is resting on the peg. I am getting a faint smell like grease burning, thinking valve cover or timing cover, some tin leaking maybe. My turn to drive. It has a 4.3 TKS but NO POWER STEERING IS INSTALLED, steering is horrible. Then I realize that smell is not grease, but rubber burning, now big time. He says STOP, opens the engine cover and we go to zero visibility for about a minute as the rubber smoke clears. The bilge pump is running solid, the bilge itself has a lot of water in it. He starts to call friends to see if they can come tow us in. I watch the bilge and the pump is starting to make a dent in it now that the engine is not running. It catches up, but then still kicks on every couple of minutes. I mention that the engine should start and run and we should just head back to the ramp and let whatever happens to the engine happen. It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
So he starts trying to get it started and somehow totally messed up the throttle controls, and it would not make anything back at the engine move, got it stuck in throttle only kinda, but it would not pop back out. We tried several things but it was just too sloppy on the inside from age and the lever was the only thing moving.
He gets ahold of someone that has agreed, after much begging, to go splash his jetski and tow us in. It will take about 45 minutes, but so far is our best chance to not end up on the 6 o'clock news. In the area we are in there is a demo going on for a new big $150k wake boat but they only pause every so often to look at us waving with the engine cover up. I do not blame them, this guy I am with is trying to make a quick sale I figure because he is way overextended somewhere. Not their deal, and I get the feeling if we started to go low in the water they would do something. That is about the time I can't remember that there are life jackets in the boat, and kind of panic a little. Then I remembered I saw them earlier in the bow seat storage. The undercurrent of the day so far is this: "It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
We are bobbing around waiting for the jetski guy, and he starts wondering what happened to the engine. I said it was probably engine drain plugs left out and was not summerized. He was just sure the mechanic puts them back in after draining. But water was getting into the boat instead of the block and exhaust, so impeller was probably ok but the thing was just not ready to go on the water. And the other leak that the bilge was keeping up with, one shift cable or ujoint bellows,who knows now. He says the engine is toast. I said maybe not, and give him the order of things to do to find out later. Compression check first, then if that is ok try to find out where the water went that was supposed to get to the exhaust. Then fix that, and replace exhaust bellows. And of course, It is 55 degrees, windy, and we are heading to the dam.
He is online editing his Craigslist ad, trying to figure a new price, yes he really did that while we were bobbing around. We talk some more and he waits to post his changes as I try to convince him he needs to assess damages first. But then I remember how he was acting since we met, this guy just needs some cash fast.
Jetski guy gets there, just before he did I had started looking around for a tow rope. The only thing I found long enough was the anchor rope. The rope was looped in there, and we had no knife, so jetski guy had to take the anchor and work with that. It took a few minutes, and by now it as only 50 degrees, jetski guy is barefoot, and of course we are getting loser to the dam.
The tow in starts, jetski guy still barefoot and getting colder. He is now trying to sit on his feet. Every time a wave splashes him he flips his buddy off for about a minute.
We get to the ramp, the wind is making a difficult effort out of trailering the thing. They get it done, he had to wade around for a time. They were both very cold by now. Barefoot jestki guy is very visibly angry with his buddy now. So far it was quite a show for $25.
We get going back to my truck, I give him another $10 for his buddy, and he asks me advice again on what to ask for the boat now. I told him worst case it was gonna be 5 large. He wanted 6700 for the thing, it might have booked that in good condition. Well, never this one, it was just bad Next day it was on CL for $2800 with an ok description of what was wrong with it, and 2 days later when I got curious it was not on CL anymore.
Lesson for me is to be sure they know all of my expectations after it progresses from a visual and q&q. That it will be run on muffs to make sure it is circulating water on out the exhaust. That is for their protection should it progress to the 30 minute water test. Then the water test, no skimping on the time. I will pay for an on the water test but not for the muff test. If they balk at any of this they get to hear all about this nearly disastrous adventure, with an exhortation at the end to perform the simple and inexpensive due diligence that will protect all parties.
Next,
Chapter Two: No testing allowed because it is Immaculate and Seller has the words that (dis)prove it.