Family dysfunction!!!

[robert graham]

Maybe it's just the Holiday Season but our families and extended families seem to be an ocean of dysfunction.....maybe 10 or 20 percent are what most folks would call normal, hard working, happy, well-adjusted people and families. I hate hearing about all this garbage since we're healthy, happy, fairly prosperous and really enjoying our retirements and the fruits of our labors...Do any of you guys have this constant drum- beat of family dysfunction, and if so, what do you do or say about it?....Hoping there's a lot of happy normal folks out here!...

 

[sam60]

More than will mention, Robert. I feel it.

 

[alldodge]

I live in utopia and nothing is wrong ever, ound:

Not really about to post ,y family dysfunction here :nono:

But I'll listen in and have some beers with ya :couch2:

 

[S.A. Baker]

What's left of of my family is FAR from normal. Dysfunctional would be an understatement! I have since disowned them! NEVER MIND!

 

[Swoosh3]

"Every family runs its own circus!"

 

[jrttoday]

Denial is not a river in Egypt!! and it runs deep... meaning "Don't Even kNow I Am Lying" - lying to myself about myself.
No one is exempt, so it seems. "Dysfunction" is one of those buzzwords that many only "think" they know what it means and what it's about. This is not the venue and I don't type so well!!!!!!!!!!!! John Bradshaw, Scott Peck, Bill Wilson, Don Miguel Ruiz, and many others have written several good books on that subject specifically and other related matters.
Some are light reading, some are not. Either way, just reading will only take you so far. Studying will take you some more; but doing the actual work involved - let me just say it defies description the change that ensues.eace::bounce:

 

[JoLin]

"Every family runs its own circus!"

^^^ This ^^^

The longer I live and the more people I get to know well, the more obvious it is that EVERY family is, in their own way... nuts.

My .02

 

[Quick3201]

I think everyone is crazy except you and me and lately, I concerned about you.

 

[gm280]

The vast gambit of subjects one can encounter on these boating forums really amazes me to no end.

 

[angus63]

You can't choose family, but you can choose who to emulate and mentor.

 

[Maclin]

Social media when actively used by a family circle can exacerbate the problem, or even give the perception of a problem even if there is none. Texting instead of calling can get out of bounds pretty quickly. A "real" call when dealing with perceived problems usually gets the "chatter" back to civil if is has strayed. We have a pain pill addict (in denial) and a recovering alcoholic in the mix and that keeps things interesting sometimes..

 

[tpenfield]

Maybe it's just the Holiday Season but our families and extended families seem to be an ocean of dysfunction.....maybe 10 or 20 percent are what most folks would call normal, hard working, happy, well-adjusted people and families. I hate hearing about all this garbage since we're healthy, happy, fairly prosperous and really enjoying our retirements and the fruits of our labors...Do any of you guys have this constant drum- beat of family dysfunction, and if so, what do you do or say about it?....Hoping there's a lot of happy normal folks out here!...

I feel your pain . . . my extended family has a few dysfunctionals that insist on injecting their craziness into the holiday season . . . it usually starts in October and then builds into a frenzy in mid December. Christmas is always filled with 'memories '. . . it is like watching the Jerry Springer Christmas special.

 

[keith2k455]

I hear you. My extended is better than the wife's, but the older we get the more we learn. Heck, my immediate has our share, but I'm thankful that my wife and I both want to work on it and since we're believers we know all is possible with help from the lord.

One phrase I heard that guides me through immediate and extended dysfunction - perfect is the man who can control his tongue. I don't have to agree, but I also don't have to respond or join in the negativity. Normally the conversation will just move along once we don't join in.

 

[sphelps]

RG your not alone ... plenty of family dysfunctionality to go around ...

 

[gm280]

Holiday gatherings are usually a fine act between love and holding your tongue. Easy to get caught up in the rhetoric and continue the drama. A lot harder to take the high road and simple listen and allow things to fizzle out. But as you get older, you realize that your present family and ideas is all that seriously matters. So you stay neutral and listen and allow the conversation to run its course without adding to it. Better that way. We all have our own issues, but we also learn, some times later in life, that trying to push your ideas and views is a worthless cause. So roll with the flow and try to have a happy Holiday season anyway. JMHO!

 

[robert graham]

Well I'm not feeling like the Lone Ranger when it comes to screwed up families, but I'm still amazed at how much self-destructive behavior there seems to be out here!....from drugs, alcohol to terrible personal financial habits!....We're heading to Cedar Key Christmas morning for a week of fishing, R&R, peace and quiet....leave the freak show behind...it'll still be here when we get back!....Merry Christmas everyone!!

 

[gm280]

Well if there ever was a way to relax and take it easy, fishing has to be at or very near the top of the list. Merry Christmas Robert, and do have a great R&R... :thumb:

 

[keith2k455]

Holiday gatherings are usually a fine act between love and holding your tongue. Easy to get caught up in the rhetoric and continue the drama. A lot harder to take the high road and simple listen and allow things to fizzle out. But as you get older, you realize that your present family and ideas is all that seriously matters. So you stay neutral and listen and allow the conversation to run its course without adding to it. Better that way. We all have our own issues, but we also learn, some times later in life, that trying to push your ideas and views is a worthless cause. So roll with the flow and try to have a happy Holiday season anyway. JMHO!

Perfectly put. And I have also realized that a ball game of some sorts on TV will help me listen. I think last year I even watched a dog show. It was still a good holiday because I held my tongue, which let me watch the kids have fun.

 

[jt57]

Hey, my family puts the fun in dysfunctional.As I've gotten older, I have had to cut a few of them loose. I won't continue to support someone that continues to make bad choices.

 

[aspeck]

You know what my wife calls the sane ones in her family? Adopted! LOL!