LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
· Free drinks.<br />· Free dinners.<br />· Free movies (you get the point).<br />· You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.<br />· You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.<br />· Speeding ticket? What's that?<br />· New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.<br />· You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.<br />· If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.<br />· If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.<br />· You can sleep your way to the top.<br />· Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.<br />· It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.<br />· No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.<br />· Brad Pitt.<br />· You don't have to break wind to amuse yourself.<br /> You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.<br />· No one passes out when you take off your shoes.<br />· If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.<br />· Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.<br />· If you forget to shave, no one has to know.<br />· You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her butt.<br />· If you have a zit, you can conceal it.<br />· If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.<br />· You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.<br />· You have the ability to dress yourself.<br />· You have an excuse to be a total nutcase at least once a month.<br />· You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.<br />· If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.<br />· If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.<br />· You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.<br />· You can quickly end any fight by crying.<br />· Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.<br />· There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.<br />· You've never had a goatee.<br />· Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.<br />· You'll never regret piercing your ears.<br />· You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.<br />· You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.<br />· You don't have hair on your back.<br />· You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.<br />· You can take a wriggling fish of your hook and men think its phenomenal. 
