ehenry
Commander
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Messages
- 2,393
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle.<br /><br />Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.<br /><br />After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.<br /><br />And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"<br /><br />"Don't what?" Adam replied.<br /><br />"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."<br />God said.<br /><br />"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?<br /><br />Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"<br /><br />"No Way!"<br /><br />"Yes, way!"<br /><br />"Do NOT eat the fruit! " said God.<br /><br />"Why?"<br /><br />"Because I am your Father and I said so! "<br /><br />God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped<br />creation after making the elephants.<br /><br />A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!<br /><br />"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "<br />God asked.<br /><br />"Uh huh," Adam replied.<br /><br />"Then why did you? " said the Father.<br /><br />"I don't know," said Eve.<br /><br />"She started it! " Adam said.<br /><br />"Did not! "<br /><br />"Did too! "<br /><br />"DID NOT! "<br /><br />Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.<br /><br />Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.<br /><br />BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!<br /><br />If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,<br />don't be hard on yourself.<br /><br />If God had trouble raising children,<br />what makes you think it would be<br />a piece of cake for you?<br /><br />THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!<br /><br />1. You spend the first two years of their life<br />teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend<br />the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.<br /><br />2. Grandchildren are God's reward<br />for not killing your own children.<br /><br />3. Mothers of teens now know why<br />some animals eat their young.<br /><br />4. Children seldom misquote you.<br /><br />In fact, they usually repeat word for word<br />what you shouldn't have said.<br /><br />5. The main purpose of holding children's parties<br />is to remind yourself that there are children<br />more awful than your own.<br /><br />6. We childproofed our homes,<br />but they are still getting in.<br /><br />ADVICE FOR THE DAY:<br /><br />Be nice to your kids.<br />They will choose your<br />nursing home one day.<br /><br />AND FINALLY:<br /><br />IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:<br /><br />"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
I don't have kids of my own yet, Still found it an enjoyable read!