There once was a woman named Susan<br />Who thought it was very ammusing<br />Making love with three men<br />Although who did what when<br />Was sometimes rather confusing
THERE WAS AN OLD LADY FROM CLYDE<br />WHO ATE FORTY APPLES AND DIED<br />THE APPLES FERMENTED<br />INSIDE THE LAMENTED<br />AND MADE CIDER INSIDE HER INSIDES
THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED CLAIRE <br />WHO POSSESSED A MAGNIFICENT PAIR, <br />OR THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT <br />'TIL I SAW ONE GET CAUGHT <br />ON A THORN, AND BEGIN TO LOSE AIR.
IN DAYS OF OLD<br />WHEN KNIGHT'S WERE BOLD<br />AND LADIES WERE PARTICULAR<br />THEY'D STAND THEM UP AGAINST THE WALL<br />AND **** THEM PERPENDICULAR
-there was a young man from Leeds<br />-who swallowed a packet of seeds<br />-great tufts of grass sprouted out of his a$$<br />-and his b@lls were all covered with weeds
A Fly and a Flea in a flue,<br />Were imprisoned so what could they do?<br />"Let us fly", said the Flea,<br />"Let us flee", said the Fly,<br />So they flew through a flaw in the flue!
There once was a man from Japan,<br />Whose limericks would never scan.<br />When asked why this was<br />He answered, "Because<br />I always try to put everything into the last line that I possibly can."
Annabelle turned quite red in the face<br />At having been raped,such disgrace<br />Although it was terrible<br />It was not quite unbareable<br />She had taken the pill just in case.
My 11 year old grandson told me this one:<br /><br />In days of old when knights were bold<br />And toilets were not invented<br />They dumped their load in the middle of the road<br />And went on quite contented.<br /><br />That private school education is really paying off for him.
There once was a man from alas<br />Whose b@lls were made out of brass<br />And when in stormy weather<br />They both clanged together<br />And lightning shot out of his a$$
