Why boats are better than wives

[BoatBuoy]

Some of you may have seen this on another forum.

1. My boat doesn't care if I use another man's boat.

2. My boat doesn't care if I have two or more boats.

3. My 48-year-old boat wouldn't complain if I traded it in for a 24-year-old boat.

4. My boat won't complain if I use it and then just go to sleep.

5. My boat won't abandon me if I run out of money.

6. My boat doesn't take up ANY closet space.

7. My boat functions normally EVERY day of the month.

8. My boat doesn't ask, "Do these new seat covers make me look fat?"

9. And best of all... I can buy a muffler for my boat!

 

[Bob Fort]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

One more point of comparison (or contrast) might be that you can hire some guy you barely know to lube the lower unit and not think another thing about it....

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

Yeah, and you can tie your boat up and walk away from it. Without the sheriff looking for you.

 

[JB]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

Certainly there are advantages to a boat.

I have had one wife and about a dozen boats. None of the boats could cook, scratch my back where I can't reach, give me the greatest children I could dream of, warm my feet on a cold night, bring me chicken soup when I am suffering, tell me how wonderful I am when I have just royally screwed up, give me credit for what was blind luck or forgive me for the stupidities comitted in a mid-life crisis.

I have loved my boats dearly, but none were the love of my life.

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

Psst JB your wifes looking over your shoulder isnt she.

 

[WillyBWright]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

Yeah, and he wants some tonight.

 

[JB]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

I no longer have a wife. I have been single for 22 years.

 

[i386]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

7. My boat functions normally EVERY day of the month.

I need a boat like that. Sign me up!

 

[waterinthefuel]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

I need a boat like that. Sign me up!

Yea, mine functions every day of the month except the one I want to use it.

 

[Vlad D Impeller]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

whatever floats your boat...

 

[Marc III]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

I'm with B.B. on this one. Boats can be problematic, but are usually worth the trouble. Most women are more trouble than they're worth.

 

[CN Spots]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

There are some comparisons too:

They're both expensive
Neglecting to maintain them can be hazardous
The newer ones tend to have nicer lines (except for the true classics)
Both of em's transoms sag with age
They make terrible noises when they're not feeling well
Both benefit from a good waxing
Both look better on the water
The harder they are to figure out, the more you appreciate them.
And sure that Allison sport boat is sexy...
-but nothing will love and protect you and your family like a Boston Whaler!


spots

 

[snapperbait]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

It's been my experience that in the long run, it's cheaper to rent one for a few hours... Alot less maintinence too...

I'm talking about boats!... Ya big dummys...

or not....

 

[rschnack]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

JB,
You add class to this forum. It seems you found a good woman. I believe I have, too. My wife and I have been together for seventeen years and she almost died on me twice. It seems you don't really appreciate the good ones until you lose them or almost lose them. I love the boat, but I know she is more important because I didn't take the boat out when she was recovering from surgery last Summer, even though encouraged me to. It just didn't seem right to go without her.
Hats off to you, JB.

RCS

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

Theres got to be a Johnson "size" joke in there some where, and the black and white thing too.

 

[Gary H NC]

Re: Why boats are better than wives

And your boat you can ride all day long and it never complains..